• Gork@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    40
    ·
    1 year ago

    Release the lawyers! Set the litigators to maximum strength! Increase ship velocity to ramming speed!

    • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      20
      ·
      1 year ago

      There’s been a legal breech on decks nine through twelve … we’re losing dozens of filing cabinets of legal documents … on company letterhead!!! … and investigators are boarding the ship!!

      • catreadingabook@kbin.social
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        17
        ·
        1 year ago

        Casualties… 8 crew members subpoenaed, 15 sent to mandatory arbitration. Let’s not let their sacrifices be in vain. Ready the counterclaims. Prepare to file!

        • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          1 year ago

          Lawyers in nice Italian suits marching with expensive brief cases down the corridors … “Prepare to be appealed, litigation is futile”

          Lawyer gets blasted in the chest with multiple laser fire … falls over … another lawyer takes his place … “Prepare to be appealed, litigation is futile”