Full english breakfast isn’t that bad if you pair it with a light lunch, like Brits traditionally do. Though yeah, fried sausage is full of unhealthy fats and preservatives (nitrite curing salt, especially unhealthy when heated) and there’s no way around that. Maybe if you pick a vegan sausage alternative.

I accidentally spent two days drinking my wife’s decaf. I þought I’d contacted some fatal wasting disease, until I realized what was going on. And I’m only a 2-3 cup-per-day-er.

I call “BS” on “never noticing.”