First of all, if my mom refuses, I am not trying to force her.

I’m going to SA for about 4 months. While I was living in Ecuador, my mom got her passport and wanted to visit me. It never happened, for other reasons (I had to leave early).

She has never left North America, and I truly believe it would be amazing for her to see a completely different place. She has the money to fly First as well, so she can be very comfortable and treated well. She was interested in coming to SA until she saw it’s a 22+ hour flight. She struggles with anxiety on 2 hour flights. I’ve told her that many people just get Xanax for long flights and it’s okay, but she knows I personally do not react well to benzos, so I understand her hesitation there.

I may have to fly back to the US to reset my visa, and offered to fly down there with here. I’m used to it, but I know border control, turbulence, transfers etc can be very scary.

I’ve told her both that I will fly next to her on the flights, that she can stay with me in my Airbnb, and that we will fly First just so it’s easier for her.

I know SA is amongst the most dangerous countries in the world. I have been there before. I plan to take her everywhere so she’s safe. I live in one of the most violent neighborhoods in NYC, and while that doesn’t make me immune, my friends in SA have said it’s much better preparation than many people have. Point being, I will not put my beloved mother in a dangerous situation. If she’s alone there, she’s going with one of my friends.

What else might I suggest? It’s up to her at the end of the day, but she’s barely ever left her own city, and has told me how lonely and bored she gets. I feel seeing an entirely different continent/country would blow her mind and be a very positive experience, as it was for me the first time. I’ll buy her headphones, a lie flat seat, whatever it takes. I am extremely confident that a different place will change her life for the better. She’s retiring soon, getting older, and I just want to give her the best life I possibly can. I’m an only child so she really trusts me and I really believe that my lifestyle, similar to her dad’s, has shown her that life has a lot to offer well beyond a house and a typical job. I really want to show her how much life really has to offer. She is in great health, so I’m not worried about that part. It’s just getting her to make the jump.

Thanks for any thoughts. I just don’t want my mom to pass away never having seen how truly amazing the world is - especially given how depressed and bored she’s been the past few years.

  • pashaah@alien.topB
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    10 months ago

    When are you arriving, March? The weather is fantastic that time of year.

    Try and book an Airbnb within an estate, maybe that will help her anxiety a bit too.

    We took a direct flight from SA to NY thats 14hrs. Its long, Im not going to lie. We flew with United, and it was a much more comfy flight than other airlines we have used. Also, they have their own terminal space at OR Thambo in Joburg if thst helps!

    Having been to NY and staying in Brookyn, I will say there are a few similarities. One thats not the same is being able to walk in the streets at night. Its a big no no here. However, thimgs are more affordable here, and you can just use Uber X for safety.

    • AssistancePretend668@alien.topOPB
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      10 months ago

      Great advice, thank you. Definitely aware of not walking at night. Not going to try to be a tough guy about it either over saving $5 for an Uber.

      Coming very late December, so I know it’ll be super hot for a bit. Last time I visited early March and it was perfect. Thankfully I love heat, especially if it’s low humidity.

      • pashaah@alien.topB
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        10 months ago

        We are currently in a heatwave. It pours down about every 4th evening, at least in Pretoria. But it is hotter than ever!

        Maybe if you make some videos to show your mom what it looks like here, and how the airport looks will calm her down. People have an image in their head about ‘Africa’ and its a false perception.

        I hope you can convince her. Let us know if you do, she will have a great time in our beautiful country.