I just dont see a point anymore, I applied to every IT role under the sun and nothing, IT was jut step down cause I grew up and realized, I had better chances of winning the lottery than getting a game Dev job, or hevk really any cs gig that did anything cool. I tried to make the best of that decision, now I’m realizing there is a very high likelyhood I just work at Walmart forever, and I’m like fuck that. My firnefs tell me thats okay everyone hates their job I need to grow the fuck up. Like dude what the actual fuck. Your telling me I’m gonna spend 40 hours week of my life, not be able to afford anything nice or even have time. And die alone at 70 fuck that. The second my parents die, I’m the literal second I get the call, buying a gun, and driving out in the middle of no where, eating my favorite food I bought on credit card and pulling the trigger. There ain’t nothing to live for, I’m autistic anti social, fuck this shit. I didn’t habe fun, the past 24 years have been shit. No one cares about me, fuck it. I’m done. I cried for the past 6 hours the only thought of joy I fucking had was blowing my brains out. To not have to do this fucking shit anymore. I fucking hating it. I hate myself too.
I spent a lot of years fucking miserable making shit for money, and yeah, it’s demoralizing.
You wanna be useful to society and make a decent middle class income? Join the union construction trades. Specifically, join an apprenticeship. You’ll likely start around 20 an hour, maybe a tad more. You’ll get an education that costs you nothing and depending on your chosen trade you’ll probably be making between $40-50 an hour when you graduate. You’ll never need to submit a resume again, because your union hiring hall finds work for you and assigns you to jobs.
You’ll wake up early. You’ll pull some long hours. But you’ll also make six figures and live with a sense of accomplishment when you drive past the roads, bridges, hospitals and schools you helped build. Many of the unions have old school pensions. Most have stellar healthcare and other benefits.
Look up “union electricians (insert city or region)” to find a website for the local near you. Operating Engineers, pipefitters, and Millwrights are also great choices. Start with the electricians though. Trust me. It can take a while to actually get in a program, but it’s worth a little patience.
It’s not a perfect life, but it’s a good one. Good enough to stay alive for.
Unfortunately I’m disabled, as much as I would love to grind the trades and then live as cheaply as possible so I didn’t need to work, my body just isnt good enough. Choose sitting behind a terminal bashing the keyboard for that reason.
I’ve worked manufacturing gigs where they just plop your ass at a machine all day inspecting whatever comes off the line and putting it into a box. Medical supply factories are good for this, theyre clean, and you don’t have to deal with people. Boring as hell, but after working retail myself for so long, the jump to manufacturing was welcome.
You dont need to do any fancy apprenticeship for this, walk into a staffing agency to help you get your foot into the door. It worked for me, maybe it wont work for you, but maybe it will. When one is desperate, its worth trying anything no?
Well. Sorry. I tried.