Some of us embrace the meaninglessness.

Sure, one of these days I’m gonna kick it and within a generation, at best, no one will remember me.

And what’s wrong with that? I won’t know anyway.

So, if life is meaningless and nothing matters and we all die in the end, then why not make the most of it? If all I get are (let’s be honest) a good 60 years, then why not spend those around people I like, doing things I like, going places I like?

I’m obviously constrained by not being rich. But I found myself a job that pays well and doesn’t fuck me up too bad. I actually quite like it. I met some of my friends there, and I’m surrounded by smart, driven people, some of whom I actually look up to.

The other 16 hours of the day I spend doing things I find meaning in. Reading good books. Watching good shows. Spending time with my SO. Writing. Having drinks with friends. Lifting heavy things.

By default we have nothing at the start, and nothing again at the end. Why not enjoy the middle? Nothing needs to have any other meaning than “I like it”. Why not spend 3 hours washing the car? I like it. I like those 30 seconds when I’m done and it’s shiny as fuck. Why not spend 16 straight hours playing a new game with a couple of friends? I like it. Why not spend 10h a week in the gym getting way stronger than I’ll ever need to be? I like it.

I call this optimistic nihilism and I find it quite liberating.

I am in an existential crisis all the time. But not because I want to leave a legacy. If I died and everybody had enough to eat, then I’d die happily and peacefully. But that’s not how I’ll die.

Someone is going to follow me because they literally starved today. Someone else is going to beat their SO to death. Someone else is going to die because they’re homeless and don’t have access to resources they need to survive at the very least. Someone is going to be worked to the literal bone and discarded in a corporation’s supply chain. And many are going to die because fossil fuel companies are trying to maintain their profits.

Yeah, I’ll be gone one day, but like…even I don’t care about that. I just want other people to be able to live the kind of life I’m currently living but on their own terms. And it pisses me off and induces an existential crisis that policy ensures they don’t.

Exist for yourself and the people around you. If your idea of happiness if being universally known, you will never be happy, because every celibrity has at least as many haters has fans, and haters tend to talk louder.

The world is you, and this life is yours. Make it memorable and agreable for yourself and those around you. I’m not saying go be an Indiana Jones and have Impossible adventures, I’m saying make the most of what you have and the ones you are surrounded with. In the end you won’t care if the universe remembers you, only what you remember.

One of my philosophical axioms is I do not want to be remembered by name. I only want the impact I’ve had on the world to be my memory as it ripples through time. Doesn’t have to be big… Raising good kids, planting a single tree, or it could be big. But everyone can’t do big things, so take what you can, try to do something impactful in some way as often as you can, something that’s in your nature to do.

to preface this, i just want to say i don’t have any mental illnesses or disorders or anything, and so, if you do, this might not help at all. this is just my own perspective on life.

i’ve never personally been very caught up in the whole our lives are meaningless, we are only a minor blip in time, nothing matters in the end, we are tiny and inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, etc. i think i used to care somewhat, but i sort of just realized at some point that, even if we don’t matter “overall”, that doesn’t mean our lives don’t matter at all.

it doesn’t particularly matter to me that one day i’ll be dead and forgotten, because, well, i’m not dead and forgotten right now. right now i’m alive and experiencing things and have people who care about me. why should it matter that, in 100 years or so, i’ll be dead? why should that take away from the very real life/experiences/memories i have right now?

same idea with size/scale related thoughts. we are tiny on a cosmic scale, our lives don’t matter because of how inconsequential they are, etc. but like… the only thing i have is my life and experiences. why should it matter to me what’s important on a “cosmic scale”? if it’s not concerned with me, i quite frankly don’t see why it should concern me either.

Do you do sports and eat well? I found that physical and mental stimulation help against depression.

You’re pretty young, it’s not too late to change the world. I for one teach young people how IT works, which is very fulfilling.

I kinda don’t.

It does help not intentionally burying yourself even deeper in shit that bothers you, though. I try to only consume news and political material when I specifically go for it, because having it blared in my face 24/7 was starting to make it hard to “put down”, mentally - and it’s not like following politics will give you much of a cheery outlook on life, let alone US politics. That has led to my blocking explicitly political communities on stuff like kbin (which is great fun if you enjoy whack-a-mole).

I try to find ways to make me feel like my life has meaning. For me, those things are: Creating things, protesting and acting against injustice (even in “small” ways), telling others about things they did not know before.

Lots of things, important for me is a general support for life extension tech and pushing for a society that will make it accessible for everyone ^.

However in terms of my actual day to day stuff, I do projects that contribute to the things I have decided I want the world to be like, I make friends by talking about this stuff with others or just more casual things I enjoy, I try (often unsuccessfully, but still) to make progress on specific, concrete things that I believe will improve the world or just my life in some small way ^.

Some people do just embrace a lack of purpose as a form of liberation from expectation and pressure, some (like me) do not believe in any kind of external purpose but simply decide one or several for ourselves, and some (also like me, sometimes) live at least partially in resistance against an uncaring universe.

Taking time to try and examine your own fears and thoughts and where they come from might also help. This is a learned skill, though, and takes practise ;p

Dan Harmon on the meaning of life, the universe, and everything.

Mindfulness meditation helps me learn to let go sometimes and stop ruminating about unsolvable problems. I really think everyone in the world can benefit from meditating regularly and learning the nature of their own mind. I chose a career that has a large impact on other people. I try to make the world a better place, be a good friend, and treat others well. I don’t see a purpose in dwelling on how eventually my existence will be forgotten, because worrying about it doesn’t change anything. I had an existential crisis like what it sounds like you’re going through around when I turned 30 and it made me commit super hard to being the best person I can be. I am often regarded as a super driven, hard-working person by the people around me now and I grind out every day in order to not waste any of my time on this planet. It doesn’t stop time but it does make it more likely I’ll die content with my life choices.

Is there a reason why you’ve stopped taking antidepressants? Asking respectfully, not in an attempt to have you justify your decision, because why would you have to.

Personally I’m an atheist, and thus (by extension) probably a bit of a nihilist - once I’m dead, I’ll cease to exist and nothing really matters to me anymore. This means that once I’ve been gone for so long that nobody remembers me, I’ve long stopped caring.

I still try to live the best possible life. Because while the world in its entirety may not notice my existence, I certainly do, as does the tiny part of the world I interact with, and I intend to make the most of my time here.

People also tend to underestimate the impact they have one other people’s lives. Ask anybody about people who have influenced them, and you will get a huge list. Ask the same person about a list of people they think they have influenced, and the list will be much, much shorter. Until somebody explicitly tells you that you’ve had an influence on them, it’s hard to know about it.

Ever since I’ve got step kids I can’t stop worrying about what they’ll learn from me and whether I’ll be a good influence or the one they’ll point their finger at in therapy session or on true-crime TV one day. So far they appear to turn out great, and every time they say or do something that they might have copied from me, I’m still in awe.

The same is true for other kids in the extended family, students that are unfortunate enough to be mentored by me, friends in need, …

I’m also prone to worrying about pretty much anything (IT professional with a focus on security - not sure whether it’s an occupational hazard or my tendency to worry has steered me to my current job).

Personally I’ve found that categorising my fears/worries helps tremendously.

If it’s a rational fear, it should be something tangible and I can look into steps to alleviate it. Our stock of food, water, fuel and medical supplies f’r instance should comfortably get us through any natural disaster, pandemic or power outage than can realistically be expected.

Irrational fears are difficult, as they tend not to be impressed by the fact that they’re irrational and there’s nothing to worry about. But I can still try and find other ways to alleviate them. For example when I was a child there was a time when we were piss-poor, and I still worry a lot about money even though we’re relatively well-off now and my job is very secure. In these situations I’ve found that it helps to look at our well-stocked pantry, so that something in my animal brain sees the abundance of food and stops worrying.

If it’s something that doesn’t affect me directly but still bothers me (e.g. the Ukraine war), is there any way I can help? For example make a donation, influence my country’s politics (tough one in ‘neutral’ Switzerland at the moment), or anything else that makes me feel like I’ve made a difference?

Also, do keep in mind that most media paint an incomplete picture of what’s really going on in the world. Headlines such as “Boyscout helps old lady cross the road” or “today has been a rather nice and uneventful day” just don’t make for good visitor numbers.

Enjoying the small things can help. Mindfulness, as in “the ability to appreciate the small and seemingly insignificant things”, is a wonderful tool to combat existential dread.

I’ve accepted my mortality. Something doesn’t have to be permanent to be meaningful, my own life included. It doesn’t make me sad knowing I’ll die, because that’s outside my control. I save my emotional energy for things I can actually be involved in changing.

I’ve made it into a newspaper article (nth page, but hey), I’ve got some websites in the Wayback Machine, even a Geocities page, my GitHub archived in the Arctic vault, even got an article published… so after doing all that, I live my days normally: everyday I wake up in pain and thinking about ending it all, take my benzos and other meds, go through the motions, until it’s sleepy time when I look at the benzos and painkillers, take my time to think about whether I have any reason to wake up the next day… and take the easiest path, which is taking my nightly dose and sleeping until the next morning.

What’s the point? I may win enough on the lotto to stop worrying, several people per million do it every day.

What keeps me going? Believe it or not, laziness.