Ah yes of course, a few people living off donations are supposed to outperform a multi billion dollar corporation in amount of features and polish within features.
The protocol doesn’t matter. Look at lemmy vs kbin. Kbin has “extended” features like microblogs & different UI. There’s plenty of people that like those features and thus are using kbin over Lemmy.
Just imagine kbin were much more attractive than Lemmy. More people would start signing up there. More people start “microblogging”. Maybe there’ll be other features introduced, and Lemmy can’t keep up with the nice things being added.
One day kbin decides not to federate with Lemmy at all anymore. Most people are on kbin at this point, Lemmy doesn’t have the same quality/amount of features. Now the average user has a choice: do they care about kbin being asses and leave kbin? No, of course not, not if the features really are nicer.
Now replace kbin with Facebook. Or Google, that’s exactly what they did with XMPP.
The only thing that is able to save from the triple E attack is the users actually caring enough about open platforms and deciding to not use the non-open ones. Or actually having more resources than Facebook, good luck with that.
It only really matters for the “local” feed which instance you choose. I don’t really see much point to that one honestly, except if you’re on something like startrek.website where “local” is “show me all star trek stuff”, or something similar.
And yes, it is important to spread out the user base across multiple servers and not all end up on lemmy.world.
So I’d say find some smaller instance, maybe with a community actually physically local to you, and make that your main one. Or don’t and stay on lemmy.world, I’m not your dad.
Perpetual plug to my userscript which changes all links to point to your home instance to make this even easier :)