First existential crisis? Don’t worry, they get easier after a few. The answer is simple once you learn how to embrace it: it doesn’t matter. Real, fake, it’s completely irrelevant. Go get high, play Halo, get some ice cream, and let somebody who gets paid to think about this stuff deal with it.

My brain immediately upon reading the headline: 🎶Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows…🎶

Chicagoan here. We’ve been subsiding our own state as well as the flyovers. Seriously, in Illinois the souther you go the Kentuckier it gets.

Stupid cultists. This exact thing has happened for thousands of years. Some years back one of these rapture cults popped up and I mentioned to my coworker that the world was ending. His response: when’s it happening this time? Comedy gold.

No, they want you to buy another Roomba. Open your wallet, feed the capitalism machine

Okay fine, I’ll switch to my flying carousel pony.

Nothing says “darkness and hatred” like pink

They deserved to suffer for making it.

That’s what they get for trusting crypto.

If it was deliberate I will laugh for a week straight. That guy deserves a medal.

Colbert’s FCC bit last night was pretty great.

You know what you don’t need to do all that work for? Native plants. Hell, even cover is better than a grass lawn.

This is what happens when a malignant narcissist emboldens abd enables the racist sociopaths.

Gooback? That’s a new one to me. What’s it mean exactly?

I love being poor and disabled in America.

A working PC would be nice, but I’ve learned to keep my hopes and dreams nice and low.

People believe enough random bullshit to tickle their memories with their classics list.

It really needs to go across the northern states from Chicago to Seattle - that’s so much empty bullshit that would be so much faster to cross and could connect what passes for cities along that route.

Train Simulator players: heavy breathing

Oh I’m pretty sure we’re already too fucked to recover.

I want my own money stealing finding murder of crows.