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Every game I play teaches me that I will immediately die in real life if anything bad ever happens.
Every FPS - shot dead immediately. No respawning.
Scary game - heart attack immediately.
Every sword game - maimed horrifically.
Zombie apocalypse - eaten immediately, and I’ll turn into a fat one that explodes later.
Compromise: The off-screen mic should be at half volume and use a high-pitched chipmunk voice changer effect.