Oh she has a full beard. No one is going to mistake that for an under age girl.

How about dragon my balls across… wait. I think I’m into fitness. Yeah good health and fitness.

How about dragon?

During this time of my life, every response was a movie or commercial quote. I somehow had almost every conversation this way. Now it’s just meme responses. I’ve grown.

Joe is so old

This is why my wife says I can’t shave my beard.

They got a pepper bar!

Would you like that super size?

Say what? Is kraft past its date still good? At least milk and butter is still cheap…right?

“is there a water fountain here?”

“Yeah, at the entrance to the neighborhood in the retaining pond”

Back in my day, we just called a 900 number.

It’s a luncheon but no food will be served 😔

I’ve put worse things in my mouth today

You can’t take pegging out of JPEGing!

Is step 1 also Profit!?

Believe in the underpants gnomes theory!

1. Invade Iran at an estimated $1B a day and service men dying. And do that for several months (I hope not longer)
2. …
3. Profit!

Are you a mexi-can or mexi-can’t?

Oh the menu…save 10% by signing up

And I find condoms past the expiration date.