i also have social anxiety and smoked weed for the most of my life to cope with stress and unpleasent inner conflicts. before my flight to thailand i smoked 1 month straight just sitting in my room and playing overwatch all day. i went to thailand for a year and i still remember how i felt at the airport alone with my backpack. i felt like a weirdo without friends. like everyone is staring at me. afew hrs later i met a girl at the airport who was a backpacker travelling alone. it eased my mind. when i arrived at bkk airport i met a german couple and shared a taxi with them. it eased my mind. everyday i met new people and i saw how they carry themselves and learned from them. i realized that im allowed to express myself to be free and not give a fuck about the future. already after a few weeks i was thinking back how i felt in germany. i felt like im living in a box, every thought and action i took in germany was fear driven. when you go backpacking you meet people who dont live in fear and you realize how heavy carrying your social armor actually is…its just sad. i encourage you to go there.
its just as you desrcribed it! i felt really awkward at first but then seeing other people doing the things and feeling at ease it made feel like im allowed to do the same. later i even went partying alone, to clubs bars or eating thai buffet completely alone. i could have never imagined doing that in my home country