Same in MI. BIG GRETCH!

Hook. Forrest Gump.

I loved that movie. DON’T watch the sequel. Don’t do it.

I wouldn’t fuck with Travis Kelce’s girlfriend.

I understand that the roots of these holidays are religious. Even Christmas. However, I argue that the meaning and traditions of these holidays have been heavily high jacked by American culture and mean more to American culture than they do religion at this point. St. Patrick’s Day? The most people can tell you about St. Patrick’s day is that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. And by snakes, they meant Pagans. Who knows what the fuck Halloween means to religious people these days? Hell, without looking it up, what are its roots? I even argue that for a higher percentage of Americans, Christmas is more about presents and Santa than it is Jesus birthday.

Try everything. Why the hell not? Cheesy Gordita Crunch, Crunchwrap, and Cheesy Bean and Rice Burrrito are the best. Baja Blast is the real deal.

Also, here comes the baby boomer diarrhea jokes. Every time Taco Bell is mentioned, it’s the same joke. I don’t even think it’s NOT that funny, but it’s just the same joke over and over.

As a secular American, I can tell you my favorite holidays.

1. Independence Day - Hot Dogs, Outdoors, Beer, Fireworks

2. Thanksgiving - Food, Wine, Family

3. Halloween - Costumes, Candy, Booze

4. New Year’s Eve - Party, Champagne, usually a charcuterie board

5. St. Paddy’s Day - Beer, Corned Beef

6. Memorial Day/Labor Day - Backyard BBQs, Beer

Maybe my religion is alcohol.

“News”

Spam and ads

I hope a galaxy hits my house, so I can get out of work.

The elementary school I taught at offered free lunches to all students. Still, parents who packed food for their kids would give them Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and Takis and a huge can of Arizona Ice Tea daily. These students looked down on hot lunch kids. I remember seeing a student that had a lunchable everyday, but clearly their parent got it from a 7/11 or something because there was a price tag on it and it was for $5. There were also parents that dropped of fast food EVERY SINGLE DAY to their student. These were low income families too.

When lunch food is a status symbol, the system has failed you.

I’m calling the fashion police

But the stock market is BOOMING

Trump pooped his pants at the last debate. Literally pooped his pants and there is audio evidence of it and no one cared.

He’s going to spout off a bunch of dog whistle, nonsensical bullshit without answering a single question and his base will eat it up.

I ha e hope for Harris, but this debate will change nothing.

I was just kidding. I’m very jealous. I’ve spent thousands and have nothing to show for it. Maybe a hundred bucks from live shows 20 years ago.

Humble brag alert

Was it a dildo made of starburst? No one will buy mine

I’m almost positive I went to high school with Jane’s dad. Nice guy.

Ok. Will do! Thanks!

You know what sucks about Facebook? The fact that it took the reigns from Craigslist and you can’t buy local used stuff without having a Facebook account. I hate hate hate that. I want to sell my used shit without a Facebook account. It’s all fucking tire kickers anyway.