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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 10th, 2023

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  • Our stories sound similar. Calm, relatively stable upbringing and then mostly self isolation leads to symptoms being unrecognised until children and other stresses build up and the symptoms are no longer under control.

    The best suggestion I can give you is learn to accept your limitations (I’d say that to anyone, really). Managing two children is stressful for most people, for you even more so. That’s a fact and it’s OK. You get overwhelmed when there’s too much going on. That’s a fact and it’s OK. Sometimes we aren’t going to be able to cope in life. That’s a fact and it’s OK. So in this situation, you now know that you will find it too difficult to manage your kids where you are without support from your wife. That’s a fact and it’s OK.

    Maybe you could arrange to take them somewhere else that has less sensory stimulation next time, or you agree with your wife that she has time to do things like shopping when you are at home with the kids. It’s difficult to give suggestions without knowing where you were, but hopefully you get the idea.

    Depending on how old your children are, speaking to them to ensure they know not to run away without you (and reinforcing the boundary when they do run away from you) can also help. (Most) Children like having responsibilities.

    Mostly forgive yourself for not being able to cope in that situation. Modern life doesn’t allow any parent to be perfect, but we can aim to be good enough and that’s even more the case for neurodivergent parents. Give your kids a hug and tell them you love them then accept their love when they give it back. I definitely struggle with that but recognise how important it is.



  • Hello from kbin, I was having this discussion with someone on another post about users views of the Reddit alternatives. I made a comment that I slightly prefer Raddle to the rest of the Fediverse because it is a closed community, largely for anarchists and queer folks. I’ve definitely noticed a creeping toxicity since I opened my account with kbin after moving from Reddit when everyone else did and, to prove my point, was reduced (down voted) by a conservative reactionary, judging by their posts.

    Federation is a interesting and I wonder how things would be here if politics was less reactionary and more about discussion and consensus. Any instance benefits from federation through an increased user base but that necessarily comes with the impact of not being able to manage who is in that user base.