That’s why you leave at half time to beat the crowd.

: gathering kindling:

: grab a good looking stick:

: it suddenly thrashes about and bites you:

: drop it whilst shitting pants:

: tell no one:

With your permission I’m going to cook up some beats and use this verse as a hook.

Nunchucks were originally used to thresh grain before they became a peasant weapon.

That explains the increasing number of dicks I have to deal with at work.

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Oh no, dont thweton me. :3

Grandpa wants to change his diaper before it’s been shit.

He was in Joe Dirt as well. Not a masterpiece, but my buddies quoted it constantly until our brains were fully formed.

His buddy Uncle Cracker did a popular cover as well. Makes me physically I’ll when it pops up at work.

I think the only reason I bought the CD was the line: ‘Paint the town red and paint the sheriff’s wife white’ which vibed with my teenaged wannabe anarchist pubes.

I regret what I was, but I have grown. Kid Rock hasn’t.

Around here, we speak American, son. /S

No, that was Freddie Deftones.

I forget, did Hulk Hogan die? I can’t be assed to look it up.

He looks like Walter White if he sampled his own product.

I used to wear extended wear soft contacts, but I’m a trash goblin and I’d leave them in for a month at a time, only cleaning them by vigorously squirting my eyes with saline when they would bother me.

I cut that shit out years ago when one pretty much glued itself to my eye and I spent an hour aggressively pinching my eye to extract it.

I never got good at putting them in/taking them out. I’m jealous of people in instructional videos that can just pop them in/out in seconds.

He had a bit role in Joe Dirt as well, that my friend group was super in to the year it released for some reason. We weren’t even southern or country, I think we just liked mocking the aforementioned designations.

Bawitaba was big on the radio back in the 90s when I was a dumb kid.

We liked it because it had an anti authoritarian sound on some tracks:

‘Paint the town red, and paint the sheriff’s wife white’.

That got a giggle from us.

The tracks in between were lack luster, even alt-country.

The next album was a no-buy.

Sounds like something from 1001 Arabian Nights.

I dunno, I’ve been to some Catholic funerals that got pretty hilarious after the parking lot whiskey was passed around…