I generally lurk more than I post content or comment because I naturally tire from the vast majority of online and offline interactions with people. The exception being those people who share the same autism/adhd based experiences and perspectives that I do.

When I interact with fascists online, I already know it’s a dead end to the conversation before it starts. That’s why I begin an interaction with a fascist with the mindset of it being a chance for me to learn and understand their mindset instead of trying to change a person. I also have a 3 comment limit with a rough plan on how my comments will be used during this interaction.

The first comment generally asks to clarify a specific point that they are making. The second comment depends on the response I get but usually ends up with me pointing out a flaw or contradiction from the fascist. The third is a closing thought and a reminder of how they failed to have a clear and understandable argument to continue the conversation.

I have a very broad and hard to explain understanding of how hate and emotions work. This comes from experiences and observations from my life. So this comment format sort of plays out predictably when the fascist inevitably responds after my final comment. That’s where I find the most insight into their thoughts. That’s where I find that missing bit of information that makes it click for me.

I rarely engage them unless they spark a morbid curiosity in me. It’s better that way since it’s much easier and mentally healthier to just let them pass by my screen than to weigh down my thoughts with pure negativity.

I’ve been enjoying the use or weird lately. I’ve had some strong personal opinions on language lately. A lot of it comes with a huge increase of new words that sort of seem abstract from it’s meaning.

I think with how rapid information can spread to large groups of people, it’s just too fast for my mind to keep up. All of a sudden I feel like I’m in a war with words and who knows which landmine of a word will get you in trouble. It causes me even more anxiety when someone comes at you with manipulative intentions in order to control the direction of the discussion.

I think weird works because it’s an almost basic word. It’s simple and descriptive. It’s not a newer, more specific word that requires a deeper understanding of a broader topic. It’s understood by more people. People with varying degrees of language knowledge including people whose native language is not English. It’s easier for more people to understand.

It’s a lot easier to understand someone is weird compared to someone being a fascist.

This feels like satire? A site called real men, real style with an article about penises?

I’ve noticed this year just how quiet it’s been. I used to get woken up by all the bird calls, especially in the spring time. Now it’s just low level background noise.

The dull and distant bird calls feels so empty, especially since it’s been replaced by the continuous hum of air conditioning units and lawn mowers, the violent sounds of vehicle engines with the low rumble of rubber tires and other sources of human activity which never seems to end.

It absolutely breaks my heart.

Emotional intelligence has always been a sort of hidden magnet in my life that’s pulled me towards people who had the emotional capacity to treat people like people instead of treating people based off any first impressions or preconceived labels.

The people who I remember and hold closest in my memories have been people who understood that I’m my own unique person, with my own experiences that shaped me, with my own way of solving problems, and my own way of learning from those experiences. They were able to assist and guide me in a more human and understandable way. It felt more positive and encouraging. I learned so much more from people with a stronger sense of emotional intelligence in comparison to people who lack emotional intelligence.

Unfortunately, with what I believe to be a global mental health crisis brought on by the arrival of a global pandemic, it’s been obvious to me that there has been a critical lack of education in any form of emotional intelligence. Thinking back on my own education, there was more a focus on employable math and science skills, language with a heavy historical perspective, history with a heavily propagandized perspective and obedience within a narrow and confined learning structure. The only class that taught me any sort of life skills was the lowest level math class I had the option to take. The math class only “stupid” kids took.

After the initial uncertainty wore off and reality set in with the global pandemic, those who lacked the emotional intelligence to look within began to lash out at everyone around them. To them, the world turned against them as they were expected to be empathetic towards other people. It’s been difficult to process and deal with such a critical lack of emotional intelligence on such a large scale.

Those who are filled with hate for themselves and the world around them have far more energy than those with a better sense of their own emotional intelligence. Those who are filled with hate are burning out everyone else around them.

I think now more than ever, there needs to be more emotional intelligence education for both young and old. It will be very difficult to help ourselves move forward if we aren’t being empathic towards each other and the world around us.

I’m aware what I’ve said isn’t very specific to autism but it’s a topic that was made much more clearer to me after figuring out I have autism and understanding how it’s affected my life.

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I’ve found myself lately a lot more interested in games that don’t focus heavily on graphics but instead allow other parts of the game to speak for itself. This allows for the imagination to fill in the gaps, as you mentioned.

I’ve been playing a lot or Caves of Qud recently. It’s a rogue-like game with tile graphics and colourful text. Somehow this menu simulator game has drawn me into it’s harsh and unforgiving world. The tile based graphics actually allows for an amazing amount of creative freedom both from the developer and player point of views. The developer has created this futuristic planet with mutants and cybernetics roaming the planet trying to survive. The player has the freedom to play as they like and create the most unique characters they can imagine. My current character has two hearts, a scorpion tail, a fanged beak, two dagger wielding claws and a habit for stabbing.

I think the rise of constantly better technology has inadvertently encouraged a focus on better graphics over other aspects of video games. While there are some absolutely beautiful games with higher hardware demand, I think as of late, I’m yearning for games that focus more on story or gameplay. Games where you can feel the developer’s passion. Games with polish and attention to details in the most unexpected ways. Games that attempt to push boundaries within certain limitations (think hardware or graphic styles for example).

I think what I want is a game that feels like I’m reading a fiction book in a way. What I mean is that when you read a work of fiction, your imagination is filling in all that visual information. A game can provide you more than just text, but if it can balance graphics, gameplay and story, it can really transport and immerse your imagination into that world.

There’s no greater shock to people who lack empathy and an unwillingness to treat people with dignity than a person willing to put their foot down to prioritize their own dignity.

Fucking with manipulators would be more fun if they weren’t such scary and dangerous people.

Judging from the stories of autistic women who are in my life, as well as stories I’ve read online, there seems to also be the issue of being heard or taken seriously when attempting to get diagnosed or treated. This is on top of societal or gendered expectations which makes masking that much more of a challenge to maintain.

One of my closest friends had to stop seeing their therapist because she would leave her sessions crying and was only able to improve her mental health by refusing to visit that therapist again. Another really close friend had a doctor that kept prescribing the same medication to her even after stating multiple times at multiple visits that the medication was causing her suicidal thoughts.

In comparison, as a male myself, I was able to walk in, tell them why I thought I had ADHD and later autism and was able to walk about with prescriptions or a plan of action within the same visit.

I do think the the video spoke broadly enough that it could be informative about autism in general and could have added a bit more context to align the title with the video content.

After finally getting fed up, I went on a 10 month campaign against mamagement calling out all the sexism, racism, poor management and absolute disrespectful treatment of apprentices and contractors. I made it very clear that the work culture was awful in every way.

I got predictably fired but I secretly was working with corporate to deal with the the awful HR manager who was enabling this work culture.

Without going into much details, After my company fired me, I put in a complaint to the government labour board over a wrongful termination case. A month later after my submitting my case to the labour board, the HR manager was forced into early retirement. A month after that I settled out of court and got my severance plus a little extra to cover lawyer fees.

My coworkers knew, most got upset at me for challenging authority, some respectfully supported me at an arms length and even fewer people actually supported me.

What was undercover hate wasn’t very hidden by the end of my time there. Although I doubt they fully knew how much I couldn’t stand them. I still had to maintain the peace somehow.

I used to work in the trades. I was surrounded by straight-acting men. There’s nothing more gay than a group of straight-acting men.

Unfortunately it’s the creepy, repressed kind of gay that would make a tolerate person’s skin crawl.

I feel awful for their wives and children.

A long time ago I came across a game that was part of a 1mb challenge. It’s called A New Zero. I played it quite a lot, just flying around and dive bombing boats was entertaining enough for me.

I was impressed with 1mb but 13kb and 96kb is pretty amazing. I really enjoy seeing stuff like this.

Many people get annoyed that I often give vague answers. If I over explain myself, they’ll twist my words into a new meaning. I’m confused :D

For a little background, I worked in the field for about 5-6 years, half the time as a contractor/helper, and the other half as an apprentice (which I never completed). The company built automation lines which primarily did metal welding. High voltage spot welding, Automated MIG welding and Laser welding/braising.

As for wastefulness, I don’t even know where to start and I am sure I will miss a bunch of things. In no particular order of importance:

1. Automation requires A LOT of materials. Pipes, cables, trays, robots, supports, safety, devices, fasteners and the list goes on. Keep in mind that All these materials need to be extracted, transported, refined and remade into what we need to build an automation line.

2. Automation is Heavily dependent on fossil fuels. We need machines to extract raw materials. We need machines to transport raw materials. We need machines and heat to refine raw materials. We need machines and heat to create a final product. We need to transport those final products and then we can finally work with that final product to install into an automation line. Some materials that we work with such as cables, hosing and tubing will create some sort of waste during the installation process. Maybe not as much as the other steps but it all adds up in the end.

I worked in electrical and all of our cables would have some sort of plastic/rubber/silicone sheathing. I honestly don’t know how we can expect to keep up with the growing electrical demand AND cut down on crude oil extraction. We need insulators to safely use electricity and plastics do that job very well.

I don’t know how resource extensive it is to make a microprocessor, but I imagine it still takes a lot of machinery and heat to create them. Microprocessors are in a lot of devices used in automation.

3. Wear and tear on mechanical parts. Robots are great for doing repetitive tasks. Robots and anything that moves (conveyors or clamps, for example) will involve moving parts. Anything with moving parts will wear down eventually. Those parts are generally trashed and replaced with a functioning part.

4. Electronic Devices. Computers, PLC (Programmable Logic Controllers), Sensors, power supplies, transformers, lights, and HMI (Human-Machine Interface) are some of the devices used in automation. Lots of plastics, metals and microprocessors. Since these are electronic devices, they need to be shipped in plastic to ensure the devices are free from moisture or shock damage. The plastic wrapping and plastic shock foam pads that have no purpose after the device has been removed from the packaging get thrown out.

5. Shipping. Everything coming in or leaving has to be shipped. For smaller items, they may be bundled up on a transport skid which may mean it is wrapped in layers and layers of shipping plastic wrap in order to secure the load. Larger items may require plastic or metal tie-down straps. All of which are disposed of after use. Robots, tooling, fencing, piping, cables, power disconnects and so on are VERY heavy. All this weight requires so much fuel to transport from place to place before reaching the final installation site.

6. Reusing vs. replacing. Depending on the request, we may reuse old robots or tools but in many cases, A LOT of old, still usable material just gets chucked into the trash. Companies care less about waste and more about downtime. It’s far quicker to tear out the old, bring in new cables/piping/tray, slap it in and get that power running as soon as possible.

7. Weight. Things are getting heavier. Heavier stuff means bigger robots. Bigger robots require more power. You can probably look back at some previous points to understand why the extra weight is not good.

8. Energy consumption. As we push further into automation, we require more electrical power. Before I left my company, the power demand was increasing at a mind blowing rate. Towards the end of my time there, I spent months with a couple other people prepping high voltage power main disconnects. When I first started there, there was only one person prepping disconnects when the demand required it.

9. Oils and fumes. Moving parts generally require lubrication. Greases and oils are generally not so nice to the environment considering the actions required to handle, dispose of, or clean up oil. Lots of fumes are created from welding metal together and it’s pretty nasty stuff. My patience with that company disappeared after they started welding aluminum without filtering the aluminum welding fumes.

10. Management are prideful idiots. The dingleberries that run the place have no idea what they are doing and have no idea what it takes to build an automation line. Some of their mistakes cost millions of dollars in wasted materials and all that shit just gets chucked. It’s fucking mind blowing.

I’m sure there’s more but my brains done with this for now. Automation is super cool and fun to watch when all is done and it’s running. It can definitely push out higher production numbers compared to humans. It is definitely not as green or sustainable as any tech company would want you to believe. I believe, from my perspective and experiences in that field, it’s an unsustainable disaster. If it seems like a green alternative, it’s because we aren’t talking about the resource requirements to build, maintain and upgrade automation systems and only focusing on the production output.

Personally, I believe our green alternatives shouldn’t depend on green technology but rather draw heavy inspiration from nature itself. The hard part about that is imagining a life that isn’t intertwined with capitalism, money and hierarchy. Once we shrug off those evils, we can start to observe and listen to nature again.

I had to leave the automation industry because othe reckless waste of resources the automation industry requires. It was becoming an unbearable burden on my mind.

I thought I was being smart by using this company as a way to quickly get my electrical apprenticeship completed. Get in, get out then find somewhere quiet to live. Instead, I got used up and discarded while the entire time being treated like the dirt under a pile of shit. My prize for attempting to game capitalism, even in the smallest of ways.

Since my youth, I had been lectured in school about the dangers of climate change. The only news I ever gave any attention to was environmental news. When I was in my early/mid 20’s, I made many changes to my lifestyle and future plans based on the fact that my elder years would be on a planet ruined by industrialization.

But everything is happening faster than expected. When COVID entered the global scene in 2020 and I saw the disorganized and uncooperative response from governments and corporations, I entered a state of existential dread. Once again, my future plans were cut short. Very short. By emotionally stunted children in positions of power. And the near future these very same people are creating is just depressing.

I don’t do much these days. I keep it simple. I don’t feel bad about how little I do. Small as it seems, doing less makes me feel less disgusted by my impacts on this planet. The way I look at it, if capitalism always demands positive accumulation of productivity and resources then the opposite, doing less, is a radical act of defiance against capitalism itself. I don’t need this justification, it just amuses me. I’m much happier now by doing less because doing less makes me content. On top of that, my mind is plagued with a lot less guilt knowing I’m not actively working against the environment for the sake of making a paycheck.

Who care about consumer spending when I’ve been watching the current biosphere die off for my whole adult life?

I’m supposed to save for a future in a society that’s pretty obviously collapsing as the biosphere deteriorates?

The only type of news I consistently paid attention to over my teenage and adult life was environmental news. These two questions strongly inspired me to do something in my life for myself instead of blindly following in other people’s footsteps.

When I was in my mid 20’s, I abandoned the idea of retirement. Took all my money out of stocks and retirement plans. Sold or donated the majority of what I owned and went off to explore and have experiences. I don’t regret it but I’m still filled with so much sadness with how much damage and loss is happening all around us.

In my mid 20’s, I blindly predicted that ecological collapse would happen when I would be in my 80’s. That number has been dropping rapidly with more news coming out about the current state of the environment. Everything is casually happening faster than expected.

I’ve been in a situation before where I went up against something bigger than me for reasons that would affect not only myself but the people around me. It was both shocking and frustrating to find out that the people who would gain to benefit from my proposed actions, were the first to turn their backs on me.

Questioning my intelligence, telling me it’s impossible and a waste of time, telling me to just roll over and accept how things are.

I pushed forward and in the process learned a lot. Understood the inner workings of a social machine. I did so mainly by myself with very little positive support behind me.

In the end, I achieved my goal of removing someone from a position of power. It came at many costs. Some included social exclusion from people who should have been supportive.

Those people were afraid and projected that fear on to me. That projected fear came in the form of anger and resentment towards me. That fear causes people to drag down others who try to improve things. It feels like insanity because it’s hard to make sense of it when everything is playing out in real time.

In the video Ross made, it appears to me that he is being open, honest and realistic of what he wants to do and is asking to learn. He wants to do something for the benefit of others and not only himself. Unsurprisingly, some of the first reactions are to question his intelligence and say what he wants to do is impossible.

Even if he tries and fails, he’ll be a wiser person for it. He’s also a content creator so it’s almost expected to anticipate a follow up video detailing what he has learned. More available knowledge is always a good thing.

As long as Ross and people like Ross who want to make honest, sensible attempt at changing the world, I will be supportive of that. Fracturing our own collective strengths will cause more harm than good.

I watched his video and I get the impression that even he doesn’t think he stands the slightest chance to accomplish anything.

It seems like he wants to learn about something to defend something else he is passionate about even if he has no chance.

At the very least he is encouraging discussion and attempting bring awareness to the issue of live services affecting games and other aspects of modern life.

I’d be wary if he was promising things beyond sensible reason but that wasn’t the vibe I was getting from that video. He seems genuine in the direction he would like to take. He made it quite clear there is no concrete plan and an expectation that nothing can happen or it will end in failure if he even goes through with it.

He is asking and he is trying to learn. If Ross doesn’t understand what he’s up against now, he will after people begin throwing him more information. I get the feeling he’ll make an update video with what he learned and I will be interested in what he has to say.

I don’t fault him for trying. Things are bleak and people are looking for any reason to resist or fight back. Maybe something will happen. Maybe not.

I’m a person who doesn’t enjoy rolling over for the status quo so I’m happy seeing more people wanting to take a stand. Let’s hope he stays sensible.