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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: August 2nd, 2023

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  • A group of humans need to pass through a doorway with two doors. The leading human opens one of the doors and passes through the doorway. The next human follows them through the open doorway, and so does the next, and the one after them. The humans bunch up around the one open door, funneling themselves through it rather than opening the other door right beside it.

    Then I, the smartest and best of humans, make use of my divine and otherworldly gifts to open the other door that was right there the WHOLE TIME. Truly I am a gift upon the world. Someone should give me chocolates.




  • I had a really nice washing machine. Then it broke. The manufacturer was dissolved 25 years ago.

    I had a really nice cast iron pan. Then it fractured. Modern cast iron pans aren’t smooth.

    I had a really nice car. Then a part broke. Replacement parts haven’t been available for 50 years.

    I had a really nice flip phone. It was made by Nokia so it still works. People think it’s weird that I use a flip phone.

    I had a really nice peace and quiet. Then someone invented ambulances. Now I cower in the corner of my bedroom hiding from manmade horrors beyond my comprehension.