She/They

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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 30th, 2023

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  • Fuck. I am so sorry. Being that age and having to take care of everything is just rough. All the death certificates, cancelling services, funeral, house, car, and a million other details while you are still coming to terms that they are just gone. I just sort of went on autopilot and then spent the next 2 years a total complete mess. I am 37 now and it still fucking hurts.

    The one dumb thing that helped me grieve was to just talk to him. I used to call my dad everyday on my 25 minute drive home to work. So, I would pretend he was in the car with me and I would just talk to him.

    All I can say is cherish the few mementos you really care about and don’t drive yourself insane on trying to hold on to every item they owned. Scan pictures. Get help and talk to someone. Get someone removed from the situation to help you clean things out. I paid a random handyman a friend had around a couple hundred dollars to just take care of the parts I couldn’t handle (dead body things…) and donated a bunch of items that flat out had no value to me.





  • The patient is alive and under guardianship of his sister. He was able to dance with her at her wedding last year. Sounds like he has brain damage, as he has trouble with his memory, walking, and talking, but is a far leap from anything considered dead or a vegetable. I get that people think poorly of people who OD, but we don’t know this person or on what level of destruction they were on. I find it hard in this day and age to judge someone who wants to check out of reality.




  • Every single sign I see, I mentally note them as a monster. Nothing will change my mind on this. I have brought up these kids and the despicable camps they made even recently to my peers and just get a shrug. This whole thing is nuts and I will never forgive our current government for not making this right, as inconsequential of a detail this is for most people. This shit happened on our own damn soil, concentration/internment camp style. That fucking monster did it, but what about the last 4 years? Did anyone even try to help the people we tortured? Did anyone even care?

    The worst part? A lot of these kids will not even be able to remember or identify their parents at this point. Hell, their parents might not recognize them. You basically need DNA tests at this point, and if you are not their biological parent, you are probably screwed.



  • The only shitty thing is just how expensive absolutely everything has been. People selling their houses because insurance is so astronomically expensive that they can no longer afford to insure it. Of course this whole increase in extreme weather conditions is due to climate change, because we suck, and the planet was going to go through this eventually anyway, but it is mostly because we suck.

    On the point of people not knowing they need flood insurance, you are right. Definitely callous, but this has been the norm for decades. The system is unfair, but insurance companies exist to make money, not help you. I don’t understand how they wouldn’t know this by now, that you need both. Especially in Florida. I remember even after Katrina it was talked about on the news for weeks about this practice.





  • Ah, so I really did mean the 10 & 2 for figuring out that positioning of the seat/wheel only. I absolutely agree that 10&2 is a terrible position for driving. 9&3 is much better.

    I read an article a while back on how to position the wheel, as it is especially a problem for women. Airbags can absolutely kill you and I spent some time readjusting everything to make sure the airbag would not deploy in my face or too close to my chest. Adjusting the seatbelt height thing is also really important, but with breasts the damn thing still drifts to where it shouldn’t. Just not as bad.

    Absolutely check with the women in your life about this as a lot of us don’t think about it until we get in an accident and the airbag and seatbelt do more damage than the crash. I am lucky I have only had a minor crash once with no airbag deployed. There are ways to get pedals adjusted by the dealership or swapped with longer ones. I assume mechanics can probably do it too, but I personally do not know how that all works.


  • I don’t have much experience with manual, but I do have severe ADHD. From my experience, it takes about 6 months of driving every day before your brain does most of it automatically. It is really awful at first having to constantly think about every step. Couple random anecdotes that may help. My assumption is you are driving on the right:

    1. Drive barefoot or with minimalist shoes. You can really feel the car and road this way. Flip flops are a no no. All it took was them getting caught in the pedal once to never do it again.
    2. Leave lots of space in front of you in high traffic situations. If you are sitting in the far right/exit/slow lane a lot it will help other drivers get around you. If it is a mulilane highway, it may be safer to stay in the middle lane until it is time to exit.
    3. Look left first. Oncoming traffic hitting your driver side door is bad.
    4. If you ever ever doubt when looking both ways, just look again. People can wait.
    5. People get mad or do stupid shit. It is ok. We stop being rational people once “time” enters the equation. At some point, getting mad at other drivers all the time makes you a worse driver. Learn to just let shit go.
    6. Try to space yourself where you don’t create blindspots for yourself or others.
    7. Position your side mirrors properly. If you can easily see you car door, they are pointing in too far.

    Adjust your seat and steering wheel. You want the steering wheel far away from your face. If you have an adjustable steering wheel, this will be a lot easier. There is a little lever you can pull to unlock it.

    1. Unlatch the wheel and push it completely away from you.
    2. Adjust your seat first so you can reach the pedals and feel in control of run. Test how it feels to push the brake, clutch, etc.
    3. Now, adjust the steering wheel. Put your arms straight out. You want your wrists to touch the “10&2” position of the wheel.
    4. Keep the steering wheel as low as you can, but still see the instruments, and make sure there is plenty of space between you and the very deadly airbag. You do not want it hitting your face and it needs enough space to deploy to properly protect you
    5. Make final adjustments as needed and recheck your mirrors.