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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 30th, 2023

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  • Generally speaking in America it’s very difficult to obtain custody of a corpse after the authorities have it in their possession. While there are many types of funeral options viking burials are not one. Regular fire does not burn hot enough to fully burn a human body, which is why cremation uses special equipment. Generally nobody wants partially burnt corpses in their river, so you’re either going to be illegally polluting or going to international waters. Generally you’ll need to convince some combination of funeral director, medical examiner, coroner, hospital director, and the police to give you custody of the body. It seems unbelievable to me that you’ll be able to convince all those people to give you a body for a viking funeral

    On to illegal ways you could accomplish this: not reporting a dead body is not only a crime but also makes you incredibly suspicious for fraud at a minimum and murder at the max. Not acquiring a death certificate will make dealing with any estate very difficult. Stealing the body from wherever it is located will likely get you charges for defacing a dead body. You could bribe some people to look the other way but if that fails that’s also a crime

    In short, no you can’t really do it. However, this is America, so presumably with enough money to the right people you could probably work it out. But we’re talking .01% level money and connections



  • Some retro suggestions:

    • Super Mario Galaxy 1/2 - it sounds like your cousin is probably too old for this but this has one of the best “younger sibling” modes. They help collect and shoot bits. Which ultimately doesn’t matter much
    • The Legend of Zelda 4 Swords Adventure - It’s basically multi-player Link to the Past! Bonus points if you dig up a GameCube, link cables, and GBAs
    • Kirby Super Star - a mix of competitive and coop games
    • Super Mario World (any) - you take turns but if you don’t go 6 levels without dying to his one it can be fun
    • Halo 1-3 + ODST - Great classic shooters, the campaigns are customizable for difficulty, and a little kid probably loves alien shooters
    • Borderlands 1/2 - Looter shooters with a sense of irreverance
    • Dead Rising 2/Off the Record and 3 - Zombie hoard murdering with combo weapons
    • The Simpsons '91, Battletoads, TMNT, Streets of Rage, etc - Beat Em Ups are great for multi-player