Narri N. (they/them)

I have a trauma-based personality disorder, which sometimes manifests itself in episodes of often uncontrollable bouts of verbal violence. I prefer to direct this to people on the internet (as opposed to actual people), as I don’t wish to be violent towards people I actually care about.

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Joined 11 months ago
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Cake day: December 9th, 2024

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  • Because it’s often real fucking scary? My every past (often futile and misguided) attempt at forming a (stricly monogamous cishet) relationship ended for one reason (me) or another (the other half). I have been hurt by myself and others, by my own feelings or the other’s or the lack thereof from either. Now I live together with an incredible woman who gets me and I get her and our futures have so far seemed well aligned and stuff and I never have to fear to be judged or ridiculed by her unlike in previous attemps and I know she trusts me (and I trust her when she says so) as well. And yet still I find myself fearing: what if she’ll just stop loving me because of xyz? Because everyone else has left so far (sure I might have personally driven away a few because of my fears and insecurities, and maladaptations or other toxicities, but I’ve grown from those times emotionally). It’s real scary to open your shell and be at your most vunerable, but it is also required. Not everyone can be expected at any point to be able to do it just like that.

    That’s my two cents.

















  • i also haven’t heard that name before, but this seems to be along the same lines that we were taught in dialectical behavior therapy within interpersonal relationship skills. one great use for this skill for people with difficulities in emotional self-regulation (usual in trauma-based disorders i believe, i was stamped with bpd myself) is to learn to detach emotions from whatever it is that you need to talk about, as to minimize the possibility of an overwhelming emotional state. i personally used to go completely delusional very easily in enough emotional stress, so much so that reality that everyone else could see didn’t really matter to me because i saw a different reality that i knew completely and utterly to be true. this tendency has lead to many moments of distress to myself personally and many more around the world, and this skill is one of the reasons i don’t suffer as much anymore.

    which is why it’s so sad to see such rampant ableism in the comments. people completely misunderstanding the entire concept (because of it’s sucky name) and then just completely shitting on apparently everyone, someone there decided to bring up their general bigotry towards sexual minorities there or something.

    anyway, nothing to do with the question really, just some personal musings