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Joined 2 months ago
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Cake day: April 8th, 2025

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  • Hang in there. Keep giving it more time, this is good progress you’re making already on figuring your emotions and feelings out.

    Ignore anyone telling you you’re “young” or whatever. Heartbreak is heartbreak, there’s no winning or losing, it all just sucks.

    Your heartache is just as valid as someone who’s been together for 50 years.

    This is how we learn, unfortunately. This is an important milestone in a lot of people’s relationships, and those who aren’t going through what you’re going through aren’t better, they’re just going to have a sharper learning curve later in life when/if they do get a bad breakup. They won’t know how to process it.

    Think of this like a vaccine. The earlier in life you can work through this, the better prepared you’ll be for future relationships.

    You’ll also be able to use this experience to help others, like your friends, when they’re in a similar situation. Try and remember what it feels like and how miserable you feel, and don’t become detached or lofty when you see others suffering like you are now. Remember how much it hurt, and understand that’s what they’re going through as well.

    Regarding the guy: Don’t reconnect, don’t get back, block, etc. This is a situation where you could easily rubber band back and forth, and I’ve been there too. It’s beyond miserable. It’s a relationship that’s neither enjoyable, fulfilling, or downright awful, but somewhere in between. And it’ll last forever if you let it. Don’t fall into that trap just because you want to feel good and reconnect and take the easy way out of this suffering. I promise, it won’t last, and then the next time around will be worse, and you’ll end up gaslighting each other, hating each other, but both being too afraid and unable to escape the toxicity.











  • It feels awful to have someone completely change what they want out of life from under you. Know that he’s probably been trending that way for a while, and it just took a while for him to bring it to words.

    You’re going to get angry with him soon, but what you’re feeling right now is normal. You’re dealing with grief, and there’s stages. They’re going to take months-years to work through. That’s how this shit works.

    There’s no substitute for time.

    Take how long you were together and roughly 1/3rd of that is your recovery time before you’re going to have this as a distant, faded, annoying memory of a time before you were stronger and a more capable partner.

    If you let yourself, you can use this as an opportunity to get stronger. I know it feels like the two of you were perfect for each other, and that you’ll never find someone as special as him again, in all the ways that matter to you; and you’re right, you won’t, because you’ll find someone that will be even more special and will really get you.

    You just have to hang in there and give this some time to work through. Don’t go rushing into another relationship imo, I’ve done that and it feels great in the moment, but all it does is delay your healing from this relationship even more. It will make your next breakup even worse, and then you’re trapped in a cycle.

    Take some time for yourself, give yourself a minimum of 6 months before you think about or start dating again. Nobody is emotionally ready for that out of the gate unless they’re sociopaths.

    You’ll know when it’s time. It’ll feel right. I promise.

    Until then, hang in there, and best of luck on the anger phase of this, that was a rough one for me and lasted longer than I care to admit before I learned to let it go.