It depends heavily on the area, with the rural mountains and coast distorting the average. But in a city in the central Piedmont (where most people are moving) $3k for a 3 bed 2+ bath is probably a good median. However, our schools are in the bottom third of the country, our waterways are routinely contaminated as in this article, and our public transit basically doesn’t exist outside of very small areas of downtowns. Ohio has better public libraries, schools, and arts institutions, and was way cheaper to live in, though maybe they have higher property tax rate there even if the absolute value of a similar home is less. NJ does have wicked taxes, but you also have some of the best schools and pretty good infrastructure, so I’d take it.

Taxes aren’t even that low here for how badly public services fail.

I see two big things that others have touched on. One, you wll not believe how much of a difference a real road bike makes in your speed once you have a chance to try one, and the average speeds you’re seeing are almost definitely on road bikes. I don’t think you need to go out and get one now or anything, get comfortable with what you have first, but also know that if/when you try one your average speed will probably jump at least 5km/h.

Second, cycling takes a lot of time to get used to. Anecdotally, when I first started I was a competitive distance runner and would occasionally win smaller races, and I started riding with a bunch of older relatively out of shape guys who had been cycling for decades. On about one sprint or hill a ride I could beat them, but they would kick my butt on the rest of the ride for more than a year before my conditioning caught up and I started to be able to keep up consistently.