Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t, what did he maybe do?!

This makes me feel way too old.

Eddie Izzard

In the UK their population needs to be controlled otherwise they will be a pest.
If left unchecked they will devastate tree populations.
If I recall correctly there was an estate who didn’t keep up with their deer culling and the army got called in with helicopters.

As this is my 4th week offshore out of 5 I have decided to stop going to the gym and read more. I’m watching La casa de papel, I know I’m late, no spoilers! And I’m eating whatever I feel like.
Only two more weeks to go before I can go home.
I’ll leave this here as it sums up my mental state pretty well.

Back when I was young me and the missus spent months in a shitty van traveling around. Back then you could rock up outside the airport and find a van with the keys and paperwork and a note saying to take it as the previous owner had left.

Don’t get me wrong, we have good days too but the weather can change in a heartbeat here. It’s what catches most people out, especially on the mountain, too many people head out thinking it’s a nice day then the weather changes, cold wet and zero visibility. Easy to get tired, lost and confused and needing to call mountain rescue only too find out they were only 10 minutes away from the car park.
I remember biking years ago in Wanaka and climbing at hang dog in golden bay on the south island. Beautiful place, can’t wait to go back, take my kids. It’s just so far away.

I don’t know where you live but the Scottish Highlands can produce some seriously “fuck this” weather. When you’re still hours away from home and the sleet and winds pick up, your soaked to the bone and hands too cold to pull the brakes, you look back on it with more fondness than you felt at the time.

“Glad to see it still works even though it’s got a hole in it”

We call this type 2 fun. It might not the most fun at the time but once you’re off the hill and having a pint you say it was the best time ever, because you survived.
Also allows to I’ve climbing and skiing.

I can’t put into words how much I despise bananas.
Luckily every single banana plant is a clone so it’s likely that one single blight will wipe them all out.
No if I can just figure out how to create a blight.

Absolutly none. Can’t stand bananas. Need to wash my hands after peeling them for my kids when they were young.
Think it’s the weird texture.
And also the awful flavour.

Somebody set fire to a wall mounted bin with a firework inside it.
The deputy head went to put the fire out, the firework went of almost blowing his face off, allegedly, I didn’t see it as I was already in detention for an unrelated incident.
The deputy head storms straight into where I’m sat on my tod for detention and asks what do I think I’m playing at almost killing him.
The headmaster gets called in and everyone’s grilling me to confess for setting the bin on fire while I was in detention the whole time!

£1.99? That seems worth a punt.

If England was playing Israel at football, who woukd you (A Scot) support?

I disagree. I recently had to cover a dayshift and I hated it! Never again, I will quit my job before they make me work dayshift.

Oh great, back to square one!

By Odins beard, thank you!
I’ve just been assuming someone’s trying to voodoo me and almost getting there.
This is a great relief.

Is this the pain that feels like a knitting needle getting rammed into your chest and only lasts for like 2 seconds but it’s two second you think “Shit! I’ve been stabbed” and everyone around looks at you because you’ve Just reacted like you’ve been stabbed.

I think they’re talking about books you’ve read in the library and decided not to check out, not books you’ve already checked out, taken home and are now brining back.