It’s been a very long week. I’m glad it’s almost over, and I’ll have two rest days until next week starts. My depression got slightly worse due to someone unexpected coming back into my life, someone I thought I’d never talk to or hear from again. I was getting accustomed to no longer having this person around, and I realised I was doing much better without them. My anxiety was under control; I was making more gains in the gym than ever, girls(and guys!) started paying more attention to me whenever I went out, and I was finally trying out new hobbies!

Then, out of nowhere, four weeks ago or so, I got a message on my WhatsApp. Despite being in a much better place now, I engaged with them. I knew it was a bad idea from the get-go, but part of me was still clinging to the past, I suppose. Finally, I did what I should’ve done aeons ago: I closed our communication channels yesterday when they inevitably brought more drama into my life that I didn’t need. We’ve known each other for 22 years, and part of me will sorely miss them, but I think I’m much better off without them.

I’ve been training a lot and got into natural bodybuilding over the past few months. I finally found a coach that seems pretty good, and I’m hoping we can start training after the summer once I’m back from my parents’ place. Sadly, all of this has messed up my recovery as it has substantially increased my stress levels. Hopefully, it’ll all be back on track soon. Being an HSP makes this situation harder, but I think I’m better equipped now than ever. It’s only up from here! (I hope!)

Sorry for the wall of text. It’s been a very long week, and I suppose I needed to vent somewhere.

So what’s Noita’s appeal? I’ve tried getting into it several times, but it never clicked. It feels overly difficult, but not in a fun way. I’m sure I’m missing something, as this kind of game would be up my alley otherwise.

It’s been going. I think my nervous system is finally getting used to the absence of the one person who’s been here for half of my life. I’m trying to shift my outlook on life and trying to convince myself that I can pull this off on my own. I think there’s been a bit of progress because not every breath feels like torture and I’m no longer thinking of doing anything stupid. There’s a life ahead and I can sort of see it now. It may even be good :)

Reddits content has gone downhill since the big migration. Even smaller communities are restricted to mostly shitposts, memes , drama or a mix of those. I tried checking it a while back and it’s incredibly bad. If we vote yes for Lexit I’d probably go to whatever platform the admins pick.

Thank you for your comment! I’ve been on the fence about buying a weighted blanket for a while, but I’ll most definitely get one now! I’ve gotten used to ignoring my body cues and just staying in a situation even though it feels extremely uncomfortable. This is definitely something I need to work on. I also need to move to another house, I think. I currently don’t feel safe or comfortable where I live and it’s taking a bigger toll on my mental health than I was willing to admit.

I actually also enjoy programming quite a bit, but it can be quite daunting at times. Now when I’m a bit more aware of my mind, I think I can approach programming in a way that’s more productive and not as overwhelming. :)

Thanks for your comment! I’ve always tried to engage in self-reflective exercises even before starting therapy. I’ve always been an introspective person. While I’ve never really delved too deeply into meditation, I’ve looked into stoicism quite a bit. In fact, I have exchanged a few emails with professor Massimo Pigliucci, which was very, very helpful!

Unfortunately, my creative side has always been shut down by my parents as I was growing up. Whenever I showed interest in poetry, piano and so on they were discarded as “non-productive” hobbies. I eventually found other ways to let my creativity flow in ways that were deemed more acceptable. Now in my 30’s I’m slowly getting back into writing poetry and music. I’m no longer suppressing my sensitivity side and it feels great.

Kagi is the only one that consistently gives me much better results than google. The fact that it’s not riddled with ads on the first page was a big incentive for me to give them some cash. It actually improved my productivity at work a whole lot. This actually made me think how shitty google has become when I was preferring results given by an error prone AI compared to just searching for it. Now with Kagi, I can actually find the stuff I’m looking for and only use AI in case I can’t find it there for some reason. Totally worth the monthly subscription for me.

Unfortunately, there’s no correlation between game quality and its price. The standard now is 70 euros.