i don’t really need advice yet, it’s just a question. a girl im friends with acts really odd. we are friends, and we used to talk a lot, but then she started getting quieter, making less eye contact.
she also started being tenser/snippy at times.
when she’s not snippy, she’s just very quiet, which is most of the time. sometimes she’ll scoot over next to me but then scoot away, or act like she wants to sit by me but then goes away.
she doesn’t seem to be acting rude at all or mad at me. she will be nice, like smiling and waving and saying “hello”, or energetic when she can respond over text, so i don’t believe i’ve done anything to hurt her, but it’s just been really odd. what, from your experience, make a friend start acting this way? (especially girl because idk about guy friend behaviors)
most of the time, she acts normal, and i appreciate our friendship, and she seems to not hate me or anything like i said
A bunch of randos on the 'net won’t be able to tell you any better than she can. If she says she’s fine reaffirm your friendship and tell her you’re there if she needs to talk and otherwise carry on. Not much else you can do without jeopardizing the friendship.
I know you’ve said that you’ve asked her, and she’s stated she’s fine, but I think it matters how you ask. Sit down with her, mention the behaviors you’ve observed, explain how these things make you feel (I assume you’re worried about a friend), and just let her know you’re there for her if she ever wants to talk. Try not to make it too much about yourself, but be honest with your emotions… and try not to offer fixes for anything unless she asks. Myself and a lot of other women aren’t always open with men, even friends, because it can be exhausting dealing with their problem solver personalities; we normally know how to fix things already, but doesn’t mean they don’t weigh on our minds.
It can mean one of six thousand different things, none of which will ever be made clear to you.
Is your friendship close enough that you could just mention some of the behaviour you’ve observed and ask what’s up?
She just says shes fine, its so weird
It sounds like she’s upset about something that involves you in some way. I would just ask her.
Tysm. She always says she’s ok and doesn’t seem upset most of the time. She even acts friendly a lot, like normal :(
I’m sure it’s probably some kind of misunderstanding
I have asked her and she just says shes fine. She also can act completely normal and seems friendly, like shes not upset with me or anything, just normal, and doesnt indicate shes upset besides that, but its really odd. Its like she wants to hang with me but something’s preventing her? She even said i could go to her house so…
Idk man I think she might like you. I used to be like that as a teen, extra self conscious in front of my crushes
This is my take as well. She’s happy to see/ talk to you, but she thinks she’s sending out some kind of hint or another then gets moody when she thinks you haven’t picked up on a vague hint and responded in kind.
If she’s said you can come over (again, vaguely vs outright asking you to come hang out on X day), then ask her if this Saturday would be good? Figure out a movie to stream. After you start it, get a cozy blanket and ask her if she wants to snuggle while watching the movie?
This would have totally worked on teen me.
How old are you?
Have you considered asking what’s up?
I have, im a teen 😅
Well let me share with you the wisdom of age: often you can just ask someone what’s up.
This also works on dates: you can just ask someone out. You don’t have to go all in your head about it. If only someone had told me when I was a teen, alas.
Thank you so much _ yeah ive asked and she just says shes fine
Glad to see teens on Lemmy. I hope that you can fix it with your friend.
You have considered? Or you have asked?
Ive asked
How confident are you that she also sees things as ‘just friends’?
she supposedly likes someone else that she broke up w 2 yrs ago, unless she likes two ppl at once
ig not all ppl are openly flirty when they feel this way but still. i did act avoidant towards my crushes.
if she didn’t see things as just friends, it might explain a lot better, but im not confident, i just assume no
