If not, then what about rarely instead of never?

  • throw4w4y5@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    I can guarantee that if you drank pure petroleum and ate quicklime then you would spend the rest of your life without worrying about farts.

  • twistypencil@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I hardly ever fart, the rest of my family are a veritable natural gas factory. I do not eat sugar, or dairy and an vegetarian. Lots of black beans, not magical fruit for me. I never eat processed foods, and hardly ever eat bread or other gluten… I do have pasta once a week or so

  • Evil_incarnate@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    If you hold on for a few minutes, it will be absorbed by the colon and go into your bloodstream. Then it will be released into the atmosphere through your skin. Soundlessly and smellessly.

  • feifei@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Anything animal based like beef and pork. Also your poop will be dark brown and small. Win win

    In case you really want to do this, research on how to get into carnivore first. You probably will get the shits first if you get in head on first. But after that, it’s almost no gas and no poop

  • BilboBargains@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Once you have solved this filthy little secret problem that you’ve been hiding from your loved ones, you can turn your attention to those big greasy turds that you have been producing every day. You flush them away but we know, we can smell the odour of shit and air freshener. We know when the captain starts walking with short strides he’s clearing the poop deck, ready to drop anchor.