• Elvith Ma'for@feddit.org
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    13 hours ago

    This is my temporary potato holder. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My temporary potato holder is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my temporary potato holder is useless. Without my temporary potato holder, I am useless. I must fire my temporary potato holder true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will …
    My temporary potato holder and I know that what counts in war is not the potatoes we launch, the noise of our burst, nor the smoke we make. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit …
    My temporary potato holder is human, even as I [am human], because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will keep my temporary potato holder clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will …
    Before God, I swear this creed. My temporary potato holder and I are the defenders of my yard. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life.
    So be it, until victory is America’s and there is no enemy, but peace!

    • goldfndr@lemmy.ml
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      4 hours ago

      Please, more “sets the potato down” and “push a button” substitutions.

      This is my temporary potato holder. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My temporary potato holder is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my temporary potato holder is useless. Without my temporary potato holder, I am useless. I must push a button on my temporary potato holder true. I must set the potato down straighter than my enemy who is trying to set a potato down on me. I must set the potato down on him before he sets a potato down on me. I will …
      My temporary potato holder and I know that what counts in setting potatoes down is not the potatoes we launch, the noise of our button pushes, nor the smoke we make. We know that it is the anywhere you want that counts. We will hit …
      My temporary potato holder is human, even as I [am human], because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will keep my temporary potato holder clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will …
      Before God, I swear this creed. My temporary potato holder and I are the defenders of my yard. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life.
      So be it, until victory is America’s and there is no enemy, but peace!