He’s also my business partner. He kept his watch collection with me since his wife doesn’t allow him to buy watches and made me promise not to ever tell his wife about them. Not only because she doesn’t like it but also because she will definitely ask him to sell them and probably spend the money on clothes and traveling like she often does.
He lets me use the watches in the condition that I don’t cause any damage. But now that he passed away it doesn’t feel right any more.
His watch collection is worth about 200K$ in todays market. I think the lawful and ethical thing to do is to break the promise and tell his wife but I’m not sure that’s the right thing to do since he made me promise not to tell her.
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I’d love to see a male-female breakdown of the commenters for return/keep. Let’s reverse the situation and suppose the “wife” let her friend hold $200k in jewelry? All else being the same, would the sage advise change? Curiosity, nothing more. The reality is the watches belong to the rightful heir and as there is no will, that would be the spouse. And the post really sounds like a “made for ethics class supposition” anyway.
Did he pass his share on your mutual business to his wife? If yes, I would recommend selling them and investing the money in your mutual business and the increased income from it will serve his wife better. Win win situation for me, you don’t expose his secret, and also make his wife have a better income, which will make him happy up there don’t you think?
Any chance he bought them in the name of the business?
It’s not your moral duty or business to decide how his wife treats the watches and if she liquidated them or not.
The most you can ask is right to buy them first (any or some or all).
Obviously you must give them in. What the actual heck.
Regardless of your ethical and moral values you have the LEGAL obligation to give those watches to his wife.
Haha, a pretty even split on telling her vs not.
I dont think i could wear one of the watches and not feel slimy. I would have to come clean to her. Who knows what she’ll do - give you one? All? Some?
You help her sell the rest, or offer to?
For people in here claiming “legally” or “ethically” he gave him his collection… it was a gift. What law requires him to give the watches to the wife? Thread of keyboard lawyers
Just tell his wife. I know your friend told you not to tell her, but it just feels wrong to hold on to his watches
Man most guys in here don’t know what “promise” means.
People telling you to not tell his wife are missing the point of the secret. Now that he’s dead, his/her spending habits are not relevant. She needs to have the watches and be able to sell them. It’s not even close, morally.
You need to tell the wife. It’s not breaking the promise at all. You kept your promise until his death.
If you keep the watches, you’d literally be stealing from his wife.
First, I’m sorry for your loss.
Second, the only good piece of advice I’ve seen in here is that you need to talk to a lawyer in your state who does this sort of estate work. There’s a moral philosophical debate to be had over whether you should tell his family or keep the secret posthumously, but that debate is secondary to the legal question of what has to be done with this, as you’ve described it, $200k asset.
I’d just keep them
If asked say he verbally gave them to you
So lie? This is your legal advice?
If the value of the watches were <$5k I’d say keep the secret, but $200k is crazy and will have a positive impact on the wife’s financial situation. It does sound like the wife is already set up pretty good though, so if $200k is chump-change to her I’d keep the watches in honor of the friends secret.
If he can afford $200k in watchs then I’m sure his family should be fine. Just enjoy your memento from your friend.
Big assumption. Might be $200k in watch debt that just got passed to the wife.