I fled from one parent before 18 and managed to basically force my estranged father into taking me in but the only reason I didn’t get kicked out at 18 by him was because I had 2 months of school left, was gone the second that wasn’t true anymore (both Gen X).
He recently lamented to me that I didn’t visit often after that and figures I must have hated living with him so much that I chose to avoid him.
God they are so fucking oblivious to how they make the world a miserable place.
He said he wanted to teach his new kid more resilience than me. God help them.
Oh yikes at that last bit. I hate how few parents seem to understand that the basis of resilience is support. It begins at a young age, you let them go get hurt and come crying to their parents who patch their injuries, tell them that they were brave and tough, and let them feel comfortable venturing out again. You scale it up as they get older, so they know that they’re encouraged to seek the boundaries of their world and abilities independently, and that when they fail they have people who can help if they need it.
Trying to “toughen up” a kid so often just scars them and encourages an unhealthy relationship with risk (and with their parents)
I fled from one parent before 18 and managed to basically force my estranged father into taking me in but the only reason I didn’t get kicked out at 18 by him was because I had 2 months of school left, was gone the second that wasn’t true anymore (both Gen X).
He recently lamented to me that I didn’t visit often after that and figures I must have hated living with him so much that I chose to avoid him.
God they are so fucking oblivious to how they make the world a miserable place.
He said he wanted to teach his new kid more resilience than me. God help them.
Oh yikes at that last bit. I hate how few parents seem to understand that the basis of resilience is support. It begins at a young age, you let them go get hurt and come crying to their parents who patch their injuries, tell them that they were brave and tough, and let them feel comfortable venturing out again. You scale it up as they get older, so they know that they’re encouraged to seek the boundaries of their world and abilities independently, and that when they fail they have people who can help if they need it.
Trying to “toughen up” a kid so often just scars them and encourages an unhealthy relationship with risk (and with their parents)