When it comes to things like this you need to create a circle of influence around you and make decisions based on the people and well how much impact saying “no” will have on your life. Your In Laws for example you may consider that is part of a family obligation at this point and need to carve out time for it each year; but make it that you are setting the schedule “I can do it on one of these two days and can only spend X hours taking the photos” is the way you phrase it to them.

As it expands out to other family and friends it does come down to saying no to them. Friends, well you should not be doing that for free; you need to start charging them for the services you are offering them and suddenly you will find that few are asking you to do it. Make it a deal compared to what you would charge an actual client for a similar shoot but still put a price tag on it. With family you can apply the same thing but how you handle it should be based on how close you are to that family member. Your sibling you may still offer up a free shoot under time constraints where a 3rd cousin you should be charging full price.

As annoying as these folks are a large part of the problem here is you. It is not just saying “no” to people it is putting the value on your time. People are asking you to do things for free that you normally would charge for. Yes some people you should be willing to do this for but if your friendship with someone is going to be based on if you take free family photos for them; perhaps you need to find a new friend. If you have a hard time flat out telling people no, then put a price on your time and make it a business transaction. I get this is not the type of photography you most enjoy but that is a good balance and does not just deny them access to your photographic skills

Tell them no, you’re booked solid and don’t have time this year for freebies.

Also, your partner should back you up; it’s their family demanding the free stuff.

Ig i were to actually do people photography. The friends and family discount would be me charging them more than I’d charge a stranger. Friends and family have your number they can micromanage and can be a pain to deal with. Plus, they always say, “we just want to help you succeed.” ok, so pay the prices that are my goal, not what I’d be am charging at that phase of my business.

I mean they need to respect YOUR schedule on this and work around your professional career not the other way around.

I will say this from my own experience, they are family. Some day they will all be dead and you will wish you could take photo sessions with them.

It hard but you gotta stop giving a fuck

Working commercial photographer here. I don’t have this problem, but maybe refer them to another photographer you would recommend. If they insist because it would be free, well that’s just a slap in the face and I would probably stare back at them in silence or change the subject.

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I thought you liked photography? It doesn’t take much time, does it?

“I do. It does.” Don’t prolong the interaction. Be terse. Be professional all the time: reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason. It’s only awkward the first time.

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My schedule is incredibly busy.

This sounds good to me!

I’m a computer engineer, with nearly 3 decades of experience. Family always asked me to fix their network…fix their pc… fix their iPhone… make their house network work… etc. I honestly like helping them, so I try in the margins. But if I can’t, due to time or skills ( computer engineer doesn’t mean household gear expert) I just say so and make a joke. It works out fine.

“Hey guys my schedule is super hectic at the moment so I won’t be able to do the family photo shoot like usual, here’s someone I know that could get it done” hell even pay for the shoot and consider it a Christmas gift if necessary, not fair to work yourself into the ground.

lol. This applies to ANY specialized service job. Doctor. Landscaper. Dog trainer. Language teacher. Lawyer.

Family always tries to get free service. Just say sorry, no. My schedule needs to be set up for paying clients.

Pre-empt the request and send a “we usually have a photo shoot before the holidays but this year is crazy and I’m not going to be able to this year” before they make the request.

You’re going to have to reinforce the ‘no’ a few times but it’ll be worth it in the end.

When I first met my partners her family has a business and needed new portraits for their website of their office employees. Her father asked for my services and said to invoice him amount. So I did.

Then he went any complained to my partner that I charged him and that I should be giving it to him for free because I owe him for all the invites to their family events like Christmas dinners and thanksgiving. They even bought me tickets to go to cayman with them and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

So eventually I gave and does their photos for free whenever they ask, sometimes I feel like there should be a mutual ground in this.

Ask yourself what have they invested in you and done for you for you to give them this service in return if that’s what matters. ( a transactional relationship)

Or just do it since is just an annual thing and suck it up Cus “family”

Perhaps tell them that especially during the holidays you are fully booked but you can recommend another quality photographer to them? Then use it every time until they get the hint.

No, but I’ve mastered the art of managing expectations a long while ago., i.e, if you want free shit, take a number and wait your turn - this will happen when I have time and on my terms. And yeah, you might have to wait a while.

Make it a dinner…they could cook! And for some reason you HAVE to do the photos after eating. Maybe you walk in and say I am so hungry I can’t shoot…can we eat first? Or your kids need to eat. Then they’ll all be kind of tired and full and that will shorten the shoot. Everybody won’t want to do the full session.

You’re not going to get out of doing it…you’re just not. So do it. And figure out ways to shorten the shoot and make it fun family time at home with a couple pictures at the end.

Always do it at their house or your house. Forget about locations…ugh! The location is at one of your homes…

You need to learn that a”No” is a full sentence.

Or you can put a price tag on it that makes the complainy and frustrated feelings go away.

For me? I’d say, “Sure. I’m strapped for time and energy….But I can do it if you wanna pay! For that it will be $3k, I take Venmo or cards. Just lmk”

And leave it at that. No reason to feel guilty, or bad.

I don’t know what they do for work, but if they did push back (like jerks) just ask them if they’d enjoy going into work at night or on the weekend and not getting paid to do it.

Usually when you explain it to them like that they get it.