So like the title says, I have creative ideas and always try to include my wife in discussions, but all she ever brings to the table is problems and negativity when we discuss things. She thinks she’s being “pragmatic” but it’s tremendously disheartening and the problems she imagines are always the absolute worst of the worst case scenarios. Everything I’ve ever read or watched when it comes to starting businesses is, just start and figure out the problems later. I’m well aware of the potential for difficulties in any endeavor, but tend to believe in myself and my ability to adapt and overcome. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you find middle ground, if at all?
Since your wife is a naysayer, I’d consider reframing your approach. When you bring ideas to her, ask her ‘What needs to be true for this business idea to work?’ This refocuses the discussion around the pieces that need to be put in place for success to be achievable. If she reverts to her old habits, try refocusing her on the question above, and if she can’t get there, then at least you’ve tried to include her.
TL/DR: men and women historically have very different appetite for risk when it comes to small business ownership, and it sounds like this whole notion freaks your wife the fuck out. I’d consider having a general discussion about your goals and try to uncover what makes her so fatalistic/negative about this topic. Her dad may have been shit with money, she may not trust you, she might just be a disaster forecaster. Regardless, if you’re putting money on the line that she has a say in, you’ll want to figure out how to get aligned before diving in. Lack of shared perspective on financial risks and goals is one of the primary reasons marriages fail.