Up to three times national average of metabolite produced by human drug’s use was found in town’s wastewater

This just in: Rich people do rich-people drugs more frequently than the poors.

Tests on wastewater in an upscale Massachusetts ocean resort town have revealed unexpectedly high levels of cocaine – up to three times the national average.

Officials in the town of Nantucket on the eponymous island off Cape Cod began testing its wastewater last summer “to monitor high-risk substances and opioids in the community”.

The isolated island, located south-east of Martha’s Vineyard in the Atlantic Ocean, is an upscale and popular summer retreat for the prosperous, complete with sandy beaches, quaint cedar-shingled buildings and cobbled streets, and classic New England lighthouses and seafood.