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very angry upvote
Twonks is the right amount of stupid.
My wife says the same thing about me.
What does your wife say about me?
Not much. When I bring you up, she just sighs longingly and stares whistfuly into the distance.
I really miss the good old times as well… The adventures in the forest, flight school, romantic dinner in the closed factory and the thing that happened in Cambodia.
I see what you did there, Hot Shot.
I was at an event where one of the vendors was selling “Pet Grass”. It was a little six pack of newly sprouted “grass” seedlings that’s intended for people to take home for their pets (ex: cats like to chew grass sometimes, bunnies and rodents like to eat the stuff).
The stall was the only convenient access to shade at the time, so I was hanging out beside it for a bit while cooling off. A particularly talkative woman walked over to the vendor and started molesting the grass, to the point where some of it was flattened or damaged. I don’t recall exactly what she was saying but the context was clear – she interpreted the “pet grass” signage as an invitation to pet the grass seedlings on display.
The vendor was being pretty chill about it and started talking to the lady, who responded along the lines of “No thanks, I’m just petting the grass”. A guy, whom the grass molester was hanging out with, then spoke up and said “They aren’t selling grass for you to pet, they’re selling grass for people to give to their pets.”
Based on her reaction, I don’t think the implications landed at that moment, but she did at least move along and spare the rest of the pet grass.
I admit, my first assumption when seeing “Pet Grass” was that it was some kind of new trend like pet rocks were in the '70s.
lolll
I read this in an American accent and it didn’t make sense. But when read in a British accent, it does.
I read this in Mitch Hedberg’s voice. Feels like something he would have loved.
