2005: Please insert your username & password.
2015: Your fingerprint (if you don’t mind).
2020: For extra security and age verification, show your face to the camera (to your knowledge, the cam is always running in the background anyway).
2026: All of the previous conditions plus re-captcha.
2030: Go to the bathroom and give us a nude, to make sure you are not an alien. (Already naked? click here)
* proceeds to give them more and more fake data and notes it in the password manager *
Of course, I remember my first pets name. Good ol’ F^5.zkU.[x&J!F4w/d!9dT#,ejNZjWyp*. Such a good boy.
Such a cute name too!
… but don’t worry, here’s a 1yr subscription to an identity monitoring service you’ve only ever heard of because that popular reaction vid youtuber reads lines for them. They’ll send you an email when their database gets hacked, which will get lost amongst the daily ad spam they send you, after you signed up for their service.
