I’m so God damn pissed off. I gave the weed back because I do not want to deal with him EMBEDDING HIMSELF IN MY ROOM to taunt and provoke me while chanting, assaulting me in the process.

HE’S A MONK WITH A SCREW LOOSE! I CAN withstand him. I COULD fuck myself by letting him destroy my mood every single fucking moment of every single fucking day of a passive aggressive war of attrition that I have no recorse for EXCEPT violence, it feels at times, BECAUSE THE LIAR BROKE MY FUCKING LOCK WHEN I WAS OUT ONE DAY SO HE CAN JUST WALTZ IN MY ROOM AT WILL!

When the lock still worked, he stood outside my room for SEVEN HOURS, knocking and chanting nearly non-stop. He took breaks to smoke and eat and pee. 95% of those seven hours, he was outside my room, hounding me. His parents throw money at him to shut him up.

THAT’S WHERE HE LEARNED HE CAN GET WHATEVER HE WANTS BY RELENTLESS BULLSHIT! My dad sure fucked up, but I’m just a crazy, bipolar basketcase that cannot walk a straight line to any goal without God’s help. He’s either a narcissistic manipulator using me for supply or a really, really, really entitled motherfucker who cannot acknowledge his own faults because mommy n daddy issues.

I have zero capacity to determine the truth. But One Love, right? I felt the unconditional love for and from him that I have felt from God. Was that a lie? Did he trick my sense of love? Did he do this consciously. He SAYS he interned with the CIA, which has the most plausible evidence of all he says is odd and true, outside of Buddhist cosmology, obviously. But what is his intent?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Yea, he IS the kinda guy that would manipulate his friend into destroying his dad’s car fir his own benefit from the series of events he doesn’t profit from, given his insane vows; eg, never to handle money again, never to enter a place of for-profit business, never to use a cell phone, never to work unless impossible circumstances, never to talk with his mom again. Y’know, completely sane vows of a man who REALLY “gets it.”

He wants to walk 200 miles to a Buddhist monastary through the Sonoran Desert AND HE WILL NOT BREAK HIS VOWS. I think? I think this motherfucker may have hidden money or has the capacity to attain resources he lies about. So much stuff appeared in the apartment when I was in the hospital, ALSO when the washer/dryer magickally broke. $200 appeared one day, neatly stacked on the counter. Did Slenderman come to our door and deposit this from the window? No, I got three different bullshit explanations.

He controls my food supply by taking over the kitchen. There are times I’M NOT ALLOWED to eat because…I don’t even know. I just can’t go in the kitchen sometime. And I have to be vegan. He sabotaged my bread one time. I’m dependent on the food he DEMANDS or outright just buys himself on Amazon with my card, as I don’t know how to prepare it, and I can’t learn because he’s either in the kitchen or sleeping, and I’m not allowed to make food then.

This feels so much like the cult. Same gaslighting. Same control. Same being the one who has to do everything to make impossible circumstances work. And I’m wrong when I fail AND when I succeed. I’m wrong if I’m right about something. He taught me a lot. I’ve experienced this doppler effect with Vince before, approaching and surpassing him. I think he can’t handle that I acquired all his Knowledge but he does not seem capable of assimilating my Knowledge. Or is skillfully refusing to listen to make me feel inferior, as my traumas of being a highly neurodivergent child in a narcissistic, traumatizing household with NO therapy; communication error could mean life and death. And I’m always wrong. Always wrong. Always wrong.

I’m on 1mg/2mg Risperidone and 1000mg Deprakote. This is just how I am every day. Especially now, in these most fucky circumstances.

He lied about having AIDS and a warrant to control me. This is the person that SAYS he loves me…whil simultaneously saying “beneficial” is the one word he would use to describe how he feels about our relationship.

I’m certainly not doing this for my benefit

Yea, I do post it to provoke the children who cannot help themselves.

It’s intentional! And I am on max medication. What are your deficits? Are you aware? I can point some out, but I don’t want to be cliche’d. You must get that feedback a lot.

Tyop

I has taught this. Yes. Learn what you can do. Wisely. Safely. Don’t try to break the law or cause harm, I mean.

So why do you treat me like an inferior?

I INHERENTLY have something wrong with me! No empathy. No compassion. You treat me like a dog, but that’s how you treat your family. Not ONE IOTA of respect to me as a human being. I’m a mad dog; rarer than corpses in our society, because people like you lock me away, out of sight. Too much of a displeasure. I love you. No words anyone ever tells you will mean anything until you accept them, completely and totally, so I’m sorry you’re like Moses n Jesus.

Baby don’t hurt me…don’t hurt me, no more…

I would end there, but I want to make sure you ask yourself the right question. You don’t know, do you? I can tell! Love ya!

I am schizoaffective n autistic af. Verbal communication is limited. Written communication I’ll win. Double edged sword of a brain. High IQ, low EQ, poor judgment. I’d get mopped because of being differently abled. Since he’s so great though, surely he can meet me halfway. And I don’t want to debate. I’m intentionally provoking to those who throw bad energy my way because I know only children cannot help themselves but throw sand at the playground. I just want to complete my one mission and popularize cognitive technologies and orthogonal relativity. And juggling. There’s a reason I don’t put any videos up. The layman hears “juggling” and they think X. I don’t do X. I don’t play the normative games the sheep play, but I forgive your transgression as I know you couldn’t help yourself but get into a steamy blow-by-blow in the comment section, which is why you tried to goad what you must perceive as a mentally disabled man into embarrassing himself so YOU, whomever that is, can PROFIT off a differently abled human being.

Predator.

I don’t know if I should thank any of the liars and manipulators that fuck with me, but because of them I no longer care of the opinions of the masses.

…they’re the same post.

But I am not insane. I AM; supersane. Which is how I recognize that you are assisting me in my mission by making the machines who cannot help themselves go digging to learn.

Ah, the child takes no responsibility for his actions. He will always be a victim in that mindset.

An adult takes responsibility. Are you my keeper, or are you a Cainite? Do what you will. I’m a karmic amplifier. But that’s crazy talk. I get told that a lot. That I’m inferior. I see how you think about family. That speaks volumes about you, boy.

It’s partially wrong. I don’t think I am though. But you read that in the comment section of this or that thread and are testing me, as so many self-similar people are

But I just say that cuz YOU are the one that needs help, you idolter.

What do you believe in?

Why?

Oh, the boy can’t help himself in the stimulus-response machine we are in that I started transcending twelve years ago.

It’s CONSISTENT effort, EVERY DAY, that makes YOU what YOU don’t hate.

I AM the help, cuz people like YOU judge the people who need help, but I know you can’t help yourself.

No u

They see me once a month like the inferiors with “jobs” do.

I have a role. I’m a shaman. I never take this off at the end of the day. Do you have a role, or do you only know “jobs” like a child does?

I’m implying you’re still in Eden, not understanding the nature of duality, asyou imply in your energy, if you’re even aware you have such qualities.

Childhood nostalgia trumps all objectivity. Hence, Grandia II WAS the greatest game of all time, at one point.

Will it? I don’t care. I am 1000000% on the side of good. ONLY CHILDREN FOLLED BY FOOLERS could believe I am a problem. Hence, Elon Musk sided with the predators of the world.

Duality! Fucking stoopid, amirite?

I haven’t masturbated in public in, like, fifteen years, dude. Get over yourself.