Only way you can get me to quit smoking is the way I quit smoking last time I quit smoking, which was for someone else. The rest? Time for some major substance abuse and consuming of all the pork rinds. And potato chips. And artificial flavors. There’s nothing quite like abusing the substances and eating deep fried food with a huge gallon of alcohol and lighting up a cigarette afterward or even during. That’s vacation and summer. Can even get tanned all at the same time.

awww, you’re into it like I am. We are both into it mega style. Let’s get together and make the mods pin this. As a weekly thing, it is the thing to pin. Do you know how to convince the mods to pin this? I support it.

I’m glad, because that’s the pressure that’s on you, no doubt, in finishing this dissertation. Life is funny. Your whole self worth is not this. It’s a transactional relationship. Your committee is hopeful, so you should be. Get the shit done and get on with your life, which has many surprises in store for you, don’t I know? You’re definitely worthy. Nobody flunks the dissertation stage, so just write the thing. You’ll be fine. Trust me, if your life is anything like mine, there is a life beyond the dissertation that is far more challenging and will wipe the glue right off your ass.

This needs to be pinned like the last one, by the way. I can’t keep track. Please pin it and unpin the previous one.

If it’s any consolation, I glued my ass to the chair and wrote the PhD thesis, and even got tenure in academia. I quit my job after being tenured and promoted. So it’s all good. It’s nice, though, to finish the fucker. The best way is gluing the ass to the chair. I can attest. Get well soon!

What kind of thesis? Is it the MA or the PhD? I’ve completed both. First step is to get some glue and a paint brush. Second step is to slather your ass with the glue. Then, you sit in the chair. If it’s MA, you can probably get away with less glue. Do this after you get better. Just get better really soon. Then glue your ass to the chair. You’ve probably learned how to write a lot by now with your ass glued to the chair. Feel better! Ass gluing isn’t good for you right now.

OMG. I love Malibu. I guess it isn’t Malibu Creek, but whatever. I’d totally go camping in Malibu.

Well, that is just not fun. You’re nice because you know those friends of yours meant well.

I’ve been drinking a lot, so it’s pretty good. It’s really nice to relax on vacation, drink a lot for the summer, and kill some brain cells. Also smoking more. Drinking and smoking more, for sure. I also made myself some french fries today, with grilled cheese sandwich. So, kids’ menu straight out of Friendly’s, drinking, and smoking. Week couldn’t be better.

I left a job once because at the old job I had to share an office and at the new job I found and landed (because I wanted a new office) I got my own office. It’s kind of like a no-duh. I felt like I was the Jeffersons. Motivating factor for changing jobs not caring I didn’t last a year at the old job where I had to share an office: Having my own friggin’ office. I even asked in the interview, “can I have my own office, or do I have to share?” They said I got my own office. I hummed “movin’ on up” after.

Yes, this new type of statistical reality in this parallel universe I’ve stumbled into, where people don’t die if they walk, is fascinating, isn’t it? If I see a casino, I’m definitely going all in on the roulette wheel.

Wow, I know a lot of people that died and they were quite the walking enthusiasts. Some of them must have only walked 3966 steps a day. They were just one step away from immortality, perhaps?

Have you ever said something to yourself like, “Wow, that clown is lucky I can’t reach through the friggin’ screen and smack his face off?” If the technology keeps on advancing, maybe one day there will be mass homicides all over the place.

Don’t watch The V (a classic miniseries that was actually remade, too. Don’t watch either.) Also, stay away from Colony and don’t even think about watching Falling Skies. To feel slightly more upbeat, I would prefer The X-Files although sometimes the mood is “wow people are disgusting and don’t care about other people and will even suck up to alien invaders.” Star Trek is nice because, yeah, some of the aliens and some of the people are banded together to fight for justice. Lost in Space gives a similar vibe. Anyway, I agree with everything in your OP and I agree with you here. The aliens concept can turn into a happy fairy tale that provides a therapeutic mental escape from the drudgery of the real world that doesn’t seem to be getting better at all. People say “it gets better” because they mean well, they are trying to inspire hope. One thing I’ve learned is that in some ways the shitty things “get better” because over time I learn to live with the shitty things I can’t do a damn thing about.

This is a huge mistake. All my friends, just take a look at the history of Belfast, Maine. It’s an environmental disaster and you can’t hope your great grandchildren will recover from it. You can’t drain off slaughterhouse sewage like this. No, you did not find the vegan, by the way. I’m so totally not a vegan. I know from my home state what happens to the environment when you take it easy on slaughterhouse drain off.

Most people refer to FitGirl as a man. They assume FitGirl is a man or know it’s a man. I thought like you once the first time I saw repacks made by FitGirl. I was like, “Oh, cool! A woman into fitness and computer science!” I hope I was right and I hope your “outsider’s take” is right. I fear that this is not the case. Note that I fear this, I cannot confirm if FitGirl is a man or a woman myself since this person is not my next-door neighbor. I just have been around long enough to see how FitGirl is always referred to as a man. Since I’ve learned more, the idea, as far as I can tell, is that the software gets “slimmed down” and “de-bloated.” Perhaps you’ve heard the term “bloatware?” My understanding is that, if FitGirl is a man, he is referring to women who complain about bloating and he is referring to the “bloatware” that he reduces in size as a woman who has been relieved of the bloating. “Fit” here does not refer to exercise, but rather a body type which, in turn, metaphorically refers to reducing the size of “bloatware.” Anyway, that’s what I’ve been able to piece together over the years. Mind you, it’s an interpretation of mine. Who knows how far off the mark I am? Maybe someone who knows FitGirl personally can tell us more. Maybe she’s somebody’s gym buddy.

Thank you. Yes. LMAO.

I really don’t see the difference. Instant access versus delayed access… sounds like a Freud book I read about once about the pleasure principle. It’s all silly. The timing has nothing to do with anything. As a matter of fact, you’ve just argued yourself out of your own argument and made my point all over again. You can see it tomorrow, you can have it today. You can delay your pleasure. You can choose not to delay your pleasure. You can delay your pleasure because that’s what pleasures you.

So, you know, I was a child in the 1980s, still had access to porn. In magazines, on VHS. They won’t stop making porn. If it’s out there, the people will access. The people who made these laws will access, no doubt. So dumb.

I have no idea what this is referencing as a joke, but I’m dying to know. Please explain. I’m just waiting for it you know. Because I just don’t get it so I feel dumb. Then, I will be enlightened, and I will laugh so hard my pants fall down.