I think a lot of photographers are gatekeepers, I see it a *lot* in landscape photography with people talking about how their locations etc are secret, moaning about tourists and instagram photographers etc.
I was a little concerned about it when I started to shoot music regularly, but have found at least in my scene the gig photographers are all very welcoming and friendly and help each other out a lot.
However yeh what you described is not gatekeeping, thats just people not going out of their way to help a stranger who seems to have a misunderstanding of social boundaries. Reaching out is fine but you arent entitled to their time.
Yes this is a very common scam and its pretty digusting. $1800 is very steep for the actual shoot, usual studios market these “expensive” photoshoots for cheap or free but then will charge an insane markup on prints, usually refusing to provide high resolution / digital copies at all.
This is more typical in the “studio” model, as a general rule you want to ask what you will be delivered, $2k+ would generally get you a relatively good freelance photographer who would aim to give you around 10-15 image full size for you to print as is.
Photographers are almost never going to give you unedited photos or a huge batches of photos, between 5 and 20 is about usual.