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Joined 11 months ago
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Cake day: October 19th, 2023

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    1. Wemby eats Shaq dipped in ghost pepper salsa and becomes the greatest rapper of all time.
    2. LaMelo gets married and takes his wife’s surname, Dribble.
    3. LeBron is still in the league as his son’s personal mental health and diet coach. Neither wins an award for best father-son duo.
    4. Seattle finally gets a team: the Seattle Thunder.
    5. Kevin Durant is found alive after missing for several years. They find him on the back of a Greyhound. He’s mildly coherent but his fingertips are singed off and he keeps mumbling about Westbrook and dynasties.