Have we really become so unempathetic as a society that the act of putting yourself in others’ shoes is unbelievable to the point that people assume you must be part of the group you’re defending? So I often see people being unfairly discriminatory and mean to certain types, attributes or qualities of people, which I know some would be offended and hurt by. But whenever I stick up for them, I get comments like this: “Tell me you’re x without telling me you’re x”. “F*** off, x”. A good example is gay people or trans people. I get heavily criticised for defending them and people immediately assume that I’m gay or trans just because I’m expressing that I empathise with how they’re treated in society and think people should be kinder toward them. There are lots of other examples but I’m worried I’ll be antagonised here just by saying them, so I picked some slightly more socially acceptable ones (yes there are some far less socially acceptable things than LGBT these days, in my experience, despite the rampant LGBTphobia).
Polarization and an us-vs-them attitude has permeated the culture of the United States. IMO it’s one way the ruling elites keep us working class people too busy fighting each other to do anything about the corrupt corporations that run everything.
One good way to lower the temperature is to do what you’re doing: practice empathy. Folks should always try to empathize with others, especially people they don’t agree with. Nobody thinks of themselves as the villain of their own story.
It’s helpful if we make a good faith effort to try to understand where other folks are coming from, and try to meet them where they are. Easier said than done in this “Twitter wars” environment, but a necessary tool in digging us out.
What sometimes helps is to use more words to explain what you mean, and keep calm and respectful even if they go off anyways
Shorter soundbites are fun, but they don’t capture the nuance. Saying “I agree with X, but also think Y” makes it clear what you think.
If someone still tries to pick a fight, it’ll be clear to everyone else reading the comment chain. Can’t win over everyone, but this might win over some while avoiding another pointless argument
You know the ruling class is not behind every policy. Polarization is certainly not a policy they try and encourage in governments. Sometimes the working class has to take blame for their behaviour.
Oh so you’re part of that group that defends people?
Such a pussy
1: It’s extremely common for people to be biased in favour of a group they’re part of, since they benefit from that support.
2: It’s also extremely common for group members to pretend to be outsiders when supporting their group, precisely because of (1). “Oh well, if this person is supporting the group despite being an outsider, they must be super-altruistic, and therefore their cause must be super-righteous.”
3: If a group meets with widespread disapproval, then one way to silence external support for it is accusing the supporter of (2) - suggesting that not only are they one of the hated group, and also showing how dishonest the group members truly are.
4: Dunking on out-group members - especially via (3) - strengthens the bond of the in-group.
And 5), calling shitty people out on their shit… really pisses them off, so they get nasty in response.
I wonder if part of it is a lack of patience. So many people, especially online, want to jump to a conclusion as quickly as possible, like what they see in twitter or sms, or similar social media.
While I admit I can be wordy, I’ve been interrupted in conversations after the first few words, where someone has already concluded the opposite what I was trying to say
Allies are important; haters know that; and so, haters will hate on allies too.
Just consider the history of the term “n—r-lover”.
I think it stands to reason that on particular levels you’re aligning yourself with “them”. But… that’s the whole point of empathy…its only when you see pieces of yourself in others that you can empathize with their existence or experience.
I guess its the human tragedy…we’re all so much alike in our struggles, it’s just the theatres that are different. But for some, that difference is enough to obscure the mirror and people see a monster where its just a reflection.
Assholes are very often people who don’t understand empathy because they have none.
Empathy for other groups isn’t universal. For some, they are approaching an opinion from a tribal point of view, and therefore disagreement with the policy is disagreeing with the tribe.
But it can go further than that. I’ve had cases where I’ve tried explaining how things work, and people take that as agreeing with it and therefore I’m part of the other tribe. The idea that people are calm and logical is played out many times as being false.
I get that when I try to explain to people what is meant by “Black people can’t be racist”; the difference between overt and systemic racism etc. It’s frustrating that they refuse to even acknowledge the meaning even if they disagree with it. They will continue to argue against the wrong point.
Because people lack both critical thinking skills and an imagination.
I think it’s because no one has the time to actually explain themselves which leads to reactionary events. I dealt with this a lot during 2020. Eventually getting hate from everyone. Also these days social media and news etc has everyone drugged up basically.
There’s too much preemptive conversation and not enough reality?
pack mentality + ego
especially here
because it’s easier to make assumptions than to use critical thinking
People make countless baseless assumptions all the time. Educated people do so less, but no one is immune.
Because identity politics has taken over peoples ability for abstract thinking: aka if you are A you can’t support arguments of B. Bc id you support B you ARE B.
Fuck these post marxist id politics.
Yup. Circle the wagons! If ya ain’t with us then you agin’ us! Don’t criticize me! And don’t tell me to think! If ya hit my knee, I gonna kick! Twitch
