Superman 64 was a hell of a mess
Seconding this one. I was like 11 years old and it’s the first time I can remember being disappointed when getting a game. Went from like Mario 64 to OOT to Banjo to Superman 64 and hoo boy what a drop off.
You didn’t like flying through 150 rings?
There are way more rings than that, and they’re actually the best parts of the game. It gets so much worse in the levels without rings. Awful combat, terrible puzzles, inconsistent framerate, and thoroughly unclear objectives.
Oh, and everyone’s favorite: escort missions!
escort missions
Clark Kent must really have not made much money as a reporter if he had to walk the streets at night too
That shitty mobile version of SimCity.
Took a beloved childhood classic (the original SimCity) and took a giant free-to-pay shit all over it.
If you haven’t given pocket city 2 a try yet I highly recommend it
Ooh, neat. TY!
The app store is a massive pool of free-to-play shit.
Who Framed Roger Rabbit on NES. Ghostbusters was more disappointing, but I’ve at least kinda figured out how to play it over my lifetime. WFRR I’m clueless on. I think it’s some kind of point and click, but I’m not really sure. There’s a part where you have to call a real life telephone number to progress.
Pretty accurate depictions of what it feels like to play these games.
Sonic 06. This is coming from someone who eagerly wanted to be optimistic about the game, especially given how, on paper, it seemed very reminiscent of the Adventure games. I purchased an Xbox 360 and the game to try it out, to see if it really was as bad as people say it is.
It was…very sloppy. There are glitches everywhere, to the point where a significant amount of deaths will occur due to them, such as wall running physics just randomly breaking, causing you to fall into pits of lava, having to hit the jump button 10 times just so Knuckles jumps off of a wall every time, and even when not considering the glitches, the controls just feel awkward and clunky, Sonic himself is slow and the physics leave a lot to be desired. I enjoyed the story much more than what the gameplay had to offer.
Difficulty-wise, The Lion King on SNES. This game shattered my childhood.
same tbh
A bunch of early access survival crafting games on steam in the early days of early access. One was trying to be like starship troopers and it got like one update
Starforge?
Yup that sounds correct. That game taught me a good lesson about early access.
Oh god, survival crafting games were a dime a dozen back then. Though I am eagerly awaiting the 1.0 release of Satisfactory next month so clearly I never got my fill :p
The factory must grow, whether in 2d or 3d
The 4th game i made public
Its a mobile game where you have to find 4 “hidden” painted eggs. It was supposed to respawn the eggs in different spots, but i dont think i ever tested the game so i didnt know it didnt work.
There is also a score that doesnt work and a high score that cant go past 40
This is the game i spent the least time or effort making, copying everything from the last game i made, but changing the textures and modifying the part of the spawner of the collectables where they spawn randomly on the screen to appear at one out of a set of positions
Mario is missing. Imagine being a young kid thinking this is Mario 3/4 (can’t remember where it fit in) and it’s a platformer not realizing it’s an educational game when you got it. What a pos, greatest let down of my life.
Superman 64.
Weeks and months of hype (the era of print gaming journalism), Blockbuster stocking 100 copies on launch day for “guaranteed availability” etc.
Then I finally popped the cart in, and this thing was so bad it just defied all logic. Horrific controls, shitty graphics, unclear user interface and objectives, terrible draw distance. Timed level segments and insane difficulty.
There might be “worse” games but I have never been more disappointed in a release than Superman 64.
And don’t forget the oddly weird multiplayer.
I wouldn’t say worst, but maybe greatest difference in expectation vs reality - “My Time at Portia”.
Cutscenes and voice acting were janky. The UI felt like it was originally an MMO and feels odd for a single player game. The gameplay loop felt tedious and seemed to disrespect the player’s time.
Maybe I needed to give it more time, but for a game that I thought had generally good/great reviews, it wasn’t clicking for me.
Desert Bus.
This game is pain on purpose.
Yeah, can a game even be bad if it’s excellent at what it intends to be?
This reminds me of a method of trying to evaluate art in an objective way. Basically you ask yourself 3 questions:
- What is this trying to do?
- Does it succeed in what it’s trying to do?
- Is what it’s trying to do worth doing?
If the answers to 2 and 3 are “yes”, then it’s probably a good work of art. This helps remove the subjectivity of “do I enjoy it?” when evaluating a work.
I would say the answers for Desert Bus indicate that it is indeed a good work of art. It succeeds in being a monotonous parody of a video game which makes a political statement about what games would be if they lacked any fictional elements or conflict. And I think the statement P&T were trying to make with this game was definitely worth making. Plus, we know from the amount of people who play it as a streamed challenge game that there is some desire for a game like that to exist.
The fact that it is talked about and marathoned decades after release mean it’s good art
I tried to play it but it was just a bus lol. never found out what that was about
Im sure there are games that wouldnt even work so i technically didnt even play them but ill list a couple of games that i tried playing, hated, and uninstalled almost immediately
They both had the same problem.
Days gone and Red Dead Redemption 2.
I tried to force myself into enjoying rdr2 because it was supposedly that good. For the first few hours i kept asking myself when does the game start? When do i actually get to play?
Days gone i only made it maybe an hour before i quit and uninstalled.
I want to play a game not watch an interactive movie
RDR2 is very much not for everybody. It is intentionally tedious. It’s the kind of game you sit down and play for at least 2-3 hours every time you play it because that’s just how long it takes to get anything done. You aren’t fast traveling. You aren’t doing things instantaneously in a menu. Your time as a human being is an in-game resource. If you’re in the middle of nowhere and your horse dies, a ton of your shit was being carried in the saddle; you need to walk your ass to the nearest town lugging that saddle, vulnerable to wild animals and robbers. It’s a game about getting things done with your own two hands at the turn of the century when that was becoming much less valued. It’s a game about subsistence. You could have an easier, more prosperous life, but at what cost? At whose cost? It’s a game about nature and living in a natural world as a natural being, criticizing the transition into industrial exploitation of our fellow natural world and natural animals, including natural humans. It’s not a rootin’ tootin’ spaghetti western adventure; it’s an interactive classic American novel that can occasionally have funny or fun moments depending on your tastes. I fully understand that it’s wasn’t a game that you or millions of other people enjoyed, but I think it’s wholly unjust to label it a “bad” game for that. It did exactly what it set out to do, and evoked impactful emotion in sharing its message as intended for the people who wanted to be open to it. It’s successful art, but not all art is for you and not all art is for me. You may have gone in with the wrong expectations for it. I think it really sucks that every rockstar game since the early 2000s seems to be marketed as “GTA but ___” because the Red Dead games and LA Noire are very much not GTA. They’re 3rd person open worlds with similar engines, but that’s where the similarities end.
If you ever try it again, come in with a similar mindset to wanting to sit down and watch The Godfather, not The Avengers. There’s a lot to get out of it if you just focus on the story and the characters and the beautiful setting. Enjoy the honest work, and lament the shootouts and heists.
All that work spent making you feel like you’re living the character makes the ending so much more poignant. What a beautiful game.
Ni No Kuni 2. Looking for a new RPG, missing that anime aesthetic so I searched up “best JRPGs” (yes, yes I know now that it’s supposed to be perjorative); kept seeing this recommended, including by randos on Reddit (so not just paid review sites).
After 45 minutes of the most cliche-filled cutscenes and a prolonged tutorial for basic gameplay, I finally can just try it out and… It’s the most boring, generic gameplay ever. Dull story, bland characters, bland gameplay, too long of intro. 2/10
The only other game that comes close is Assassin’s Creed 3. Finished the tutorial mission, made it to Boston, started chasing collectibles and trying to 100% the first map. Sunk in about 5 hours and can’t find the rest of the collectibles, so I decide to move on and come back later.
That’s when it hits you with “PSYCH! That was just the Prologue, and all that time and effort invested in this character is MEANINGLESS. Here’s a brand new character to build up.”
I hate that. I don’t mind when the game begins with an OP character to show you the ropes only to take all of it away, but please make it short. I loved Metroid Prime, for example. Investing 5 hours to have all of it mean nothing to your character, and next to nothing for the story fucking sucks. 4/10, would probably still finish just because I loved 1+2.
Myst.
I came for the graphics and because I liked adventuers. Was disappointed by the static graphics and I didn’t understand what to do at all.
I wrote that essay back in 2021, and three years later time proved all of it correct. This game straight up killed the series.
As somebody who likes Tetris but essentially had no idea about PuyoPuyo until I came across that comment, that was a brilliant yet depressing read. I’m currently busy with life but wishlisted some PuyoPuyo games for this winter, just because that article outlined such an interesting game. It’s kind of hard to find something for current platforms in Europe though…
If you want functional online, the Switch version of Puyo Puyo Champions is the only title worth bothering with. Specifically Switch, other platforms are ghost towns.
If you want singleplayer content, 15th Anniversary, 20th Anniversary, and Chronicle are all peak. None of these games were released outside of Japan and they’re older titles you’ll have to emulate, hence all my salt about the state of things today, but at least they do have fantranslation patches.
So there’s a sale now and I got champions on steam for like 2,50 euros. Let’s see what kind of ride I’m in for, thank you again for the input :)
Unfortunately you’re not going to find opponents very easily on Steam, as I mentioned. Japan is pretty much entirely on Switch, and the game failed to really take off in the west so you gotta play where the Japanese players are.
Yeah, I anticipated that. Just digging my way through the lectures now and will then play single player against ai or preferably multiplayer against my kids.
