didn’t we all grow up needing to be secretive? is it because of the adage of how ‘everyone thinks women are hot’ so like even straight women would get turned on more by their own moaning?
like as a guy i don’t even…have the impulse to involve my voice in it at all
I always thought it was purely social conditioning, but I’ve got a theory that just popped in my head. I wonder if women need to be more vocal to communicate “Yes that’s good, keep doing that”? Like frankly my partner is often in charge of pace, depth, and even calling for position changes. I’m letting him know with my noises how good something is for me, If you should keep doing it, or if I get quiet he knows to try something different. I don’t mind him being quiet at all, until I’m on top and then I’m like I literally cannot tell if this is good for you. I have to ask out loud “is that good?” And then change something, “is that good?” After a blow-job I have to ask him, what parts did you like more than the other parts? Obviously I can tell he’s into it overall, but It’s really hard to know if a rhythm or amount of pressure is better than another if moaning doesn’t increase when you try something. Like he can absolutely tell when he hits a good spot when fingering me because my moans make it very obvious. I will straight say, “yes,” “please,” “right there,” “don’t move.” All kinds of stuff. It’s not just about making it hotter for the other person, it’s about communicating how good something is for you so they don’t have to do as much guessing
I just figured the guy’s concentrating on keeping up the good work without blowing it.
Yeah. I mean if he’s blowing it the she probably feels left out.
I’ve also always thought it may have to do with social conditioning, but possibly on a non-sexual level. My thought is that guys are (generally) conditioned to be more quiet about intimate things, or things that are good, and more loud in “aggressive” situations. This fits well with the factual observation that men are less likely to talk about personal problems with a friend, and more likely to push the boundaries (be vocal) in an interview. In my head, it’s an extension of the “strong, silent” stereotype, which is often regarded as positive. Women, on the other hand, are (typically) socially conditioned to be more vocal about feelings in general. I wouldn’t be surprised if these conditionings bleed over into how vocal people are during sex.
With that said: I’m a guy, and my gf likes it when I make noises. Once I got used to it, I also learned to enjoy grunting. Grunting is highly recommended.
I make some noise, no idea how enjoyable it is for the other person, mostly alot of grunting or abusive language. It gets comedic when I’m like, “Yeah bitch, I’m gonna fuck that pussy all night.” Then I cum like 10 seconds later.
This is why lesbians have better sex.
You have fingers and a mouth, you don’t need to stop fucking all night after you cum.As a straight, I wish I had fingers and a mouth. At least I can have multiple orgasms. Suck it, penis-owners!
Suck it, penis-owners!
Look, if we could we would, but then you’d never see us again.
As a straight, I wish I had fingers and a mouth.
Words cannot describe my confusion.
deleted by creator
Trans women with penises can have multiple orgasms.
I didn’t realize that and that’s fantastic! Thank you!
Men with and without penises also can have multiple orgasms.
As a straight male, I too have fingers and a mouth
deleted by creator
I’ve just realised you all saw the word lesbian and short circuited, deciding everything following that word was supposedly all about lesbians, and not about the dude who says he stops fucking after he cums.
Bruh. Try rereading my comment this way, it might make it easier for you to parse without your fantasy lesbians distracting you in the first sentence.
You have fingers and a mouth, you don’t need to stop fucking all night after you cum.
This is why lesbians have better sex.Lol calm down it was an off hand joke. Not a great joke and it clearly didn’t land but it certainly wasn’t some grand statement meant to offend
I’m not offended? I’m finding this funny. Maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to project your emotions.
Also I seriously only realised when replying to your comment what the others in this thread were on about by mentioning being straight in response to my comment. Which is why I explained it as it was obviously a parsing error.
I’m not offended? I’m finding this funny.
Do what? Why would you have to stop for that long? Genuinely asking.
Can you rephrase the question? I don’t understand what you’re trying to ask.
Why would you need to stop fucking after you orgasm?
Ask the man who said he does, that I was replying to.
I was, you just asked me to rephrase the question lol
No, you asked me originally.
I hate that my bf insists on going longer after I’m done. I don’t like it. I’m done. Hurry up!
It’s a mutual thing, some people like going longer, some are one and done.
This is the funniest honesty I’ve heard in a long time. Thank you.
Dude, got a tip for you. Make some noise. She’ll love it.
She likes it when I do the Bob Ross voice
Any noise I make would be forced, and that’s just awkward for everybody.
Because of this : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_copulatory_vocalizations
Thank you for posting this. I knew a woman’s orgasm had a purpose in insemination but vocalizations indicating the best time for male ejaculation makes sense.
And about a billion times more sense than some of the nonsense posted in this thread.
A lot of that bs has been disproven. Orgasm plays next to no reproductive function (beyond, ya know, incentivising us to wanna bone)
slurpy cervix theory
Yo… That explains a particular something…
Recent studies have shown that just as likely women have other reasons to use their voice during sex. For example to boost their partners self-esteem, etc.
Please don’t just save in your head “women moan to indicate best time for ejaculation”.
Fair enough! I was looking at that Wikipedia entry and that’s where I got that but I’m open to other non-cavewoman-gangbang answers.
Personally I’m loud every second I’m having fun and I can’t say I know of any scientific weapon for it. But it’d be nice for that to be more optional than it is!
Get a load of all the people calling bullshit on my comment lmao.
Dude you extrapolated some crazy stuff about cave woman orgies that are in no way supported by this link.
Except there is clearly a potential link that deserves further study to come to a conclusion? There’s more credibility backing this being a possible origin than there is to the argument “stupid horny male scientists like thinking about caveman gangbangs. Social construct, guys.”
I’d like to hear an actual counter theory that isn’t hiding behind identity politics or an emotional response. I’ve already stated that this hypothesis isn’t concrete fact, but you’re being willfully ignorant if you don’t believe there’s any merit to it.
Bro your hypothesis is “I feel like it” and your evidence is “You can’t prove it’s not true” and that’s just not how science works.
What we have is evidence (see your damn link to wikipedia) in non-human primates and the “I’m making a sound now to indicate that you should ejaculated for maximum likelihood of impregnation” is pretty solid stuff. There’s talk of encouraging fights for better mate selection. What there isn’t is talk of “I am doing a sex, please join the train being run on me” no matter how much you feel like it’s a valid theory.
Audibly encouraging fights among males literally ties into the theory. The hypothesis is that female moaning attracts nearby males, the males want to procreate, but only one male’s genetics are going to actually form a child, and it is in the species’ best interests for that child to contain the DNA of the most-likely-to-survive and procreate. It doesn’t matter whether the guys all form an orderly queue to some daily gangbang (which was absolutely NOT the case), or start fighting amongst themselves to be the only one with a chance (which includes the possibility that another had ejaculated inside her prior to this) - the purpose of her vocalizing was to encourage males in the area to compete, especially if she’s already in the middle of the act. There’s enough merit here to suggest further study into the area, especially given that neither of our theories are proven.
You seem to be fixated on an argument I’ve not made, and I may not have worded it clearly enough. I’m not suggesting that primitive human females started moaning in an attempt to initiate a gangbang because cave-dwelling women were insatiable whores or whatever. I’m suggesting that those vocalizations were a method to incite breeding competition between males in the area, and that this aids natural selection.
I’m not reading your thesis on cave woman gang bangs. Hopefully someone else will engage you on this topic further.
Eta; And lemme just say, the idea that “more evidence should be gathered” demands that you need to specify exactly how you want to gather said evidence. Which requires treating human women as animals to be studied. It’s absolutely ridiculous at best and psycho at worst.
On the other hand, recent studies have indicated that most copulatory vocalizations in women do not accompany their own orgasm, but rather their partner’s ejaculation. The study showed that the man typically finds the woman’s vocalization arousing and highly exciting, and that the woman herself is aware of this.
Vocalizations can be used intentionally by women in order to boost the self-esteem of their partner and to cause quicker ejaculation.
Ha, name a woman that hasn’t done this to hurry along bad sex.
Try it sometime, my wife loves it and I grew to not be shy about it. There is something about letting out moans and noises that makes sex so much better.
I started screaming. It’s basically a heavy metal concert in our room now.
Hell yeah, brother. Helps you get into that primal mode.
I’m just here for the wont
I are more wont for the same reason.
You guys are all over thinking this. A lot. I’m pretty sure it’s because basically all porn has a very loud female role and a near silent male role. There’s been lots of studies on how porn affects people’s actual sex lives. Vocalization is a part of that. Girls watch it in formative years, learn “This must be what my partner will find hot,” just like tons of other emulated behavior from other media. Boys do the same.
my gf loves it when i make noise
Same reason dogs don’t bark when they chase the mail truck.
deleted by creator
Porn has done it for dozens of years at this point, and it has just become not only an expectation, but just a thing that gets picked up.
The reason men don’t moan during sex is the same reason why Gordon Freeman doesn’t talk, basically.
See moaning and panting and the softly whispered “fuuuuucky yes” more as a means of expressing arousal and excitement. My SO is fairly vocal (involuntarily, I love it), but I had to learn it first. It really feels good tho’, I suppose it depends on what your partner wants/likes?
Before I transitioned I was pretty much silent. Hormones affected that some, but I have to say I got way more vocal post-op. First time I got it in the vagina I was quite loud.
I think some of it is just what genitals people are rocking.
As a trans woman, I noticed it started happening fully unintentionally after HRT. It’s anecdotal, but makes me feel like there’s definitely a chemical component because it actually surprised me.
I wonder how much of that is placebo effect.
My honest guess is all of it
It kinda came outta nowhere for me, I wasn’t expecting it. But idk, could be ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I grunt and moan to signify my effort and enjoyment.
