Your life is the way it is because you’ve decided that it’s more comfortable to leave it that way than to change it.

Srsly years and years of therapy this was the only thing that did anything for me

You clearly find it easy to stop doing things that are bad for you (drinking, drugs, eating meat), but you struggle to start doing things that are good for you (exercise, cooking, eating enough/well).

She was right. I still don’t do the bad stuff and started doing the good stuff and now my life is so much better. Ironically it was quitting the last bad thing (weed) which allowed me to start taking care of myself. It’s not enough to not hurt yourself, you have to be good to yourself too.

It seems like you escape your inner conflicts by being industrious.

Not professional advice but instead of going, you could halt posting for a moment and focus on your breathing. It will assure you that you are safe, and you can let the conflicts become a bit more aware without feeling overwhelmed by the terror. Do this for some time and you create the space to transform your conflicts.

I put together a website a while back:

https://wtdiycat.vercel.app/

I’d make more of an effort to distribute it if I was happier with it. in particular I think it needs simpler language.

I will share and highly recommend this resource: Western Australia’s Centre for Clinical Interventions’s Self Help Resources. Of course, these are applicable to anyone, not just Australians. There are various pages for different types of conditions (anxiety, assertiveness, procrastinating, eating disorders, etc.), and most of them take you to self-directed workbooks you can fill out yourself. They’re not only informative, but they also guide you through your thinking about these issues and how to deal with them and grow from them.

Schizophrenia isn’t real and you are the way you are because of social anxiety.

NO! THE PHYSIOLOGICAL EVIDENCE MATTER! I DON’T CARE ABOUT SCANS OF THE NEOCORTEX! THESE 100 77 CASES THAT WE CHERRY-PICKED FOR THEIR RESULTS ARE ALL THE EVIDENCE I NEED TO MAKE MY CASE!

YOU’RE WORSE THEN THE TENURE COMMITEE!

I HOPE ALL YOUR PETS DIE AND YOU KILL YOURSELF!

Check out some DBT / cbt techniques on YouTube or the like, whatever is easiest to access, find some that resonate with you and make them your own / tweak them so they fit your life / vibe.

I did a DBT course, and while I hated every minute of it, a lot of it is super great and hugely helpful for coping in hard moments and a great recipe for a way of living that’s more calm and balanced. I feel like I hated the DBT course I did because the people presenting it had never even stumbled on a rock in their lives, let alone lived through a hard moment and needed any of this stuff for real, and their privilege read as saccharine condescension.

BUT! I’m never one to throw the baby out with the bath water, I believe you can turn anything to your advantage or upskill or just build knowledge, if you’re industrious enough! You take those muthafking lemons and you make champagne, fk them. Plus they just mostly showed us clips on YouTube, so lol. The DBT course I did felt more like the break room from severance, having to admit how faulty you are and how this new enlightening thing they just told you seconds ago is going to benefit your life, as they announce each section. They didn’t even give you time to process, let alone leave room for if that was something you already knew or already utilized, but, I powered through and just paid lip-service, got my upskill, moved on.

Easier path, just look up DBT on YouTube, find people explaining what you like, give it a go on a regular basis.

Maybe a change of scenery will do you some good.

Whatever assumptions you have about the universe and other people are wrong. They all want to connect and love/be loved.

sleep just take a nap an do things when you wake up an listen to music

If feeling overwhelmed, do the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding method.

Find and make note of:

• 5 things you see
• 4 things you touch
• 3 things you hear
• 2 things you can smell
• 1 thing you can taste/recall tasting

And the idea with this is to stop dwelling on your negative spiral, and to focus on immediate surroundings.

Therapist also said to feel free to mix and match the sense with the number. For example, I don’t have a good sense of smell, so I do 2 things I can taste/remember tasting, and 1 thing I can smell.

I have a few but my absolute favorite was when he said " Imagine there’s a woman, maybe she is homeless or on drugs, and she shouts at you as you walk by across the street. She says you look like a cockroach. What would you do? " “Probably laugh” “Exactly, think of your parent as that woman. They have no effect on your life but noise” I’m paraphrasing but I liked the idea of my negative thoughts ingrained by generations of trauma being like a random shouting on the street.

I’m sorry OP, the hour has ended. Try not to -you know- yourself till next session. Have a nice weekend

You are a hairless ape whos been plucked out of the grassy plains of Africa and put in an artificially lit world where each day contains more hostile stimulation than you would normally process in a month. Your brain isn’t built to handle the information overload that social media, commuting, taxes, work, news, rent inspections and basic modern life contains. You are right to feel a constant sense of fight or flight at this bizzare and hostile alien world.

Just start doing things.