Citation needed.
Wait, really? How do I get mine?
Star by rubbing syrup all over yourself. Then lie down in the grass. Then start squirming around. Then roll around. What was the question?
I don’t know, but I need a cigarette. Hope it was good for you, too.
Where can I claim mine?
Just stick your bare hand in this bag and grab whatever you need. Did I mention that your share are all bullet ants?
Don’t listen to this guy. Stick your hand in MY bag. There’s no bullet ants in here. Just reach in, and grab the handle inside, and shake it to release the ants.
Yeah girl, shake it real hard! Just like that! Yeeeeaaaahhhhh…
username checks out, wait does this work here?
Nope. Sorry. Nobody has any idea what you’re talking about. Like is the username buying something at a store or…!?
I’ve got a mechanical device that will shake the ants out … I’ll just crank it up to 10,000 rpm so I can get my ants fast and be on my way … let me just adjust the carburetor so I pull start the engine to get started … HOLD STILL!!!
I don’t think the average person could defend themselves against 2.5m ants. They could overthrow us at any moment.
Do I get prep time?
An indefinite amount. They could come for you today. They could come for you in 43 years. You’ll never know until you see the wave marching across your shoes.
All we have to do is get them going in a circle
There are 2.27 popes per sq km in the Vatican.
The average human has less than two legs. Or brain hemispheres.
Global population per capita is 1
What are the odds of this? How do people deny a creator!?
“The average person has one Fallopian tube.” ―Bo Burnham
I didn’t get any. :( Can someone share their extras? Redistribute fallopian tubes!
And <1 ball
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It may sound like a lot, but that’s at maximum just 12.5kg (around 27.5 pounds) of ants.
12.5 kg of ants is, like, a LOT of ants.
Well now I want ants.
I remember reading once that world wide, all the ants on the planet weigh collectively more than all the elephants put together on the planet.
It’s actually more than the combined mass of all wild birds and mammals.
Another fun insect fact: there are more species of beetles than all of the other species combined.
But can they fuck up the environment the way we do? I don’t think so
Where are my personal ants?
Mike stole them
Alright… So what the fuck am I supposed to do with 2.5m ants?
Well, on my property it’s probably 70 million ants and just me. I’m doing the real work.
But how many ants are there? […] “According to our estimates, the global ant population is 20 x 10¹⁵ – that is, 20 quadrillion animals. […]”
Divided by 8 billion yields the 2.5 million per person.
Here’s one from NPR too: https://www.npr.org/2022/09/21/1124216118/ants-number-study-quadrillion
I must have killed at least 10 peoples worth of ants in my garden this year.
what am I supposed to do with 2.5 million ants??
Give each and every one of them housing and health care. 🖤🐜
most of them are pretty small.
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If you can train each one to bring you a cent you’d be a rich man!
You’d need decoy ants too. So no one can follow their trail.
At an average weight of 2.5 mg per ant that’s 6.25 kg of ants per person or about the weight of a 6 month old human baby.
And I could beat the shit out of a 6 month old baby, so I think I’m fine.
