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Remove the last sentence.
Lady, this a serious offence. I may be willing to let it go if allowed to pet the puppy.
Reverse petting zoo type idea
Reverse petting zoo
Pretty sure that’s just a prison with relaxed visitation rules 🤷🏻
A dog can piss on a tree and that’s perfectly legal.
If I piss on a tree, (maybe because there are no public restrooms accessible) I risk getting fined or arrested. Maybe even put on some sex offender registry for indecent exposure.
basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if something REALLY wants the piss that’s inside of your bladder, and it’s like… a doctor, or a friend, or the floor of a public restroom, then that’s perfectly legal. a doctor and a public restroom are made for removing things like piss and magnets from inside your bladder. that’s basically fine.
if something wants to get at your piss, and it’s, say, some kind of tree, maybe because there are no public restrooms accessible, that’s where the problems start to arise. a tree is not made for removing human piss, and your government knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting it to stay IN your bladder instead of coming out.
unfortunately this will not deter a really small and brave bladder, because a small and brave bladder is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of alcohol, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with more alcohol, and basically by any means possible. even if it means being put on a sex offender registry for indecent exposure.
Why are there magnets inside your bladder? What are y’all getting up to? Did…the doctor put them there?
This is S-tier poetry
The haiku we all needed today
I hate to be THAT guy…so I won’t.
I offer a different dog in exchange for the bag-dog
Alas, I have negotiated another dog which was licking my preciously unlicked elbow
Walking the steps leading up from the subway station,
I think to myself
“I have two more dogs”
The next day, I return to the subway; awaiting a 27th dog, not expecting two as the previous day had given.
“3 more cellar door”, I scratched onto the bench with the sharpest edge of my squeaky toy bone.
“Just 3 more dogs and I am free…” I thought whilst peeing on the person sitting next to me. “3 more”
