Inspired by the very similar thread about school incidents.
An IT contractor at my government job was one of the people that tried to kidnap Michigan governor Gretchen Whitmer.
big gretch! she’s so cool. looks like she could command a battlestar.
INC-224, never forget.
I am an infra engineer at a fairly large scale (not like Amazon, but we have some BIG customers) SaaS company; despite our scale, we are only like 250 people and of them only about 90 engineers. We store a bunch of data in MySQL.
15:30:00, I get a page “MySQL table is full.” I immediately know my day is ruined, since I’ve never heard of this error before, but know it ain’t great.
15:30:10, every Pagerduty escalation policy in the entire company gets bombarded with pages.
I look at the database instance. The table size is “only” 16TiB, so it’s a bit confusing.
We are hard down for several hours as we scramble to delete data or somehow free up space. Turns out, google backs ClpudSQL MySQL instances with ext4 disks instead of zfs, and the max file size on ext4 is… you guessed it, 16TiB.
We learned a LOT of lessons from this, and are now offloading a shitload of json into either MongoDB or gcs, depending on the requirements. The largest table is down to 3TiB now :D
I love it.
All the other comments had guns sex and drugs.
Your story had mySQL.
Mad lad.
I understood almost none of that.
Database (thing that holds and retrieves bunch of data) broke when it reached a size of 16 Terabytes because the underlying filesystem (Thing that lets you store data on a physical disk like a hard drive or SSD) has a maximum possible size of 16 Terabytes by default (ext4)
16 TiB is roughly 16,000 Gigabytes which is roughly 16,000,000 Megabytes
Ty. I understood the tb but I didn’t know what a lot of the other abbreviations meant.
Our department sometimes had a few interns, most of them young and female. Usually one of them got her workplace in the boss’s room in the office and he had plenty of time to show them how things are done etc.
One day the boss invited all staff to his house for a nice little summer barbecue. Later in the evening we recognized him being absent from the party for nearly 2 hours, and one of the interns was missing for exactly the same time.
Working at McDonald’s at the time. The HR manager went on bereavement leave and a replacement was brought in. The day the HR manager came back she was told she was demoted and was put as the DriveThru order taker for a couple months before finally being fired and given severance.
A month or 2 later the old restaurant manager who was now the “Systems Manager” and in charge of all the admin tasks stopped doing unpaid overtime, so all of his duties were taken away and he was put as DriveThru order taker.
For 3 months he came in for exactly 8 hours every day, only did order taking in DT, and left. He was still being paid his restaurant manager’s salary during this time, the new restaurant manager was in over his head and would not ask the old restaurant manager for help. Eventually the old RM left to work for a competitor working with the old HR manager.
Apparently the owner called the competitor to scream at them for stealing his staffHad an executive assistant at my company who did very little if anything. Nobody knew why she was kept around and paid so much. Everyone pressured the CEO to fire her, but he strongly resisted. Eventually she was fired, but immediately threatened to sue for sexual harassment. CEO threw her a lovely settlement check despite claiming that nothing ever happened. Mmhmm.
Software company before git. The source server corrupted and the product code was lost. 5 guys had to get together and figure out the latest version between them (everybody had different changesets) and produce a new “current” version. At the end we lost all history prior and ever since all changes prior to 2008 have been attributed to 1 guy.
I used to work at an accounting/consulting firm who were dead set on writing business applications in VBA within Excel. The code was embedded in the notebook, and to distribute the software was sending the latest version of the Excel file. This made version control virtually impossible, and we would instead combine our work manually.
I cannot recommend having tech-illiterate people lead software projects.
The amount of times I hear people telling me that “I should just do it in Excel”. Excel. Is not. A database.
Excel is a single-assignment dynamically-typed functional programming language with a really obtuse editor.
Stop… Stop… I’m already dead
Excel is a whole OS unto itself. Like Emacs except you can get out of it.
Close enough when your actual database system is written in fucking COBOL.
Subversion has existed probably for longer than your company, the fucking managers couldn’t be arsed to read a damn book?
I had a worse experience. My first internship was doing web development in ColdFusion. Why that language? Because when the company was first starting, none of the funders wanted to learn Linux/Apache administration and CF ran on Windows.
Also, the front end development team did not have version control but shared code via a file server.
They were using SourceSafe back then. But any source control that isnt decentralised has the same problem. If the central server gets deleted so does all history
More impressive than the fact that you saved a repo once is that the same repo still exists today with the complete git history. At the rate companies abandon products for new ones, old repos are rare.
Our repo is old as time. Carried through from SourceSafe to TFS to Git
Gotta respect that save. Reminds me of the Toy Story 2 assets being lost from a server failure and they were saved by one employee having a copy on their personal computer at home.
It wasn’t a server failure. Someone rm -rf on the root of the server. The server did what it was told.
Worked at a place where our CIO was completely unqualified to be a leader, much less a leader in IT. She was a micromanager who took the position of “telling stakeholders” instead of “working with stakeholders” so any project she was on was really her pushing through whatever agenda she had at the time. Meanwhile her deputy CIO was stealing computer equipment from the server room but I digress…
April fools one year and I decide to prank it up. I moved the hinges (not the door handles) of the freezer/fridge in the breakroom so that the handle and hinges were on the same side. It’s a fifteen minute job to move everything so I did it the night before the 1st.
The next morning our hungover CIO stumbles into the breakroom and cannot get the fridge to open. After a few seconds of futile tugging on the handle, she gave up and took her lunch to her office.
Others in the office figured it out pretty quickly and had a good chuckle.
Later on that day CIO sends out a nastygram about pranks being unprofessional, property damage, someone was going to be in huge trouble, yadda yadda…
But she’s not the director. The director tells her to basically fuck off, it was a funny prank, and perhaps she needed to lighten up.
She never found out it was me.
Ha!! As an appliance repair guy i learned about reversing the door hinges+handles a long time ago. It never occurred to me to use it for a prank until i was living in my apartment for a few years, and realized it really would make more sense to reverse the hinges to open the door the other way. I moved the hinges, but then it occurred to me that i can leave the handles where they were and prank all my friends when they came over. Unsurprisingly, it works! People usually would figure it out eventually but sometimes we had to intervene if they were getting too rough with it.
I got so used to having it set up that way that once in a blue moon I’d go to open other people’s refrigerators the wrong way (not the best look for a repair tech, LOL)
Girl did dabs on break with her gf came back zonked out since she’d never smoked weed before.
Ended up slapping manager and getting taken away by ems
Cook got arrested at work one time when cops came to pick her up at her job. She was 4 feet tall so we joked they picked her up and carried her away. She had to use a step stool to make the soup and someone would hide the stool from her so she’d be pissed the next morning.
Same place had a cook drinking lean and offering it to people.
Retirement home btw
Any workplace sitcoms about retirement home you know of? I would be all over that since South Park did the rap-heavy retirement home drug episode
There is absolutely room for it. Have so many stories. From the bpd woman who mentally and verbally harassed the boy with fetal alcohol syndrome.
To finding absinthe in the chefs office.
Then there would need to be an arc about the time there was a chef who couldn’t read. His wife did his emails and we couldn’t get avocados because he was spelling them wrong I’m the hardies order system
I feel really bad for the woman with bpd and the guy with FAS. Those are both horrible disabilities.
They were both tragic figures.
What’s lean?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lean_(drug)
It’s essentially cough syrup mixed with a soda. Think his specifically was with sprite. Remember my co worker being especially fucked off of it and he was routinely baked.
I was a square.
I’ve tried almost everything but I’ve never tried lean. I want to sooooo badly.
So buy some cough syrup and sprite. Also most cough syrup has acetaminophen in it so I hope you didn’t need that liver.
Previous HR was well beyond retirement age essentially working to have something to do and one day emailed all of management a spreadsheet asking us to verify our information. That sheet contained each of our full names, addresses, phone numbers, birth dates, social security number, etc.
To my knowledge nothing of significance happened. I have my credit frozen.
I worked for a company that handled a ton of personal data. Pretty much every person in Germany, including addresses, bank account details, etc.
On my first day there (fresh from university) I was given literally full read access to the entire database. And as I later found out by accident: they did not track any data exfiltration at all. I copied several gigabytes of data without anyone noticing.
Your data is only as secure as the least motivated data broker sees fit. And that’s not very fit.
A few years ago I asked a customer for a list of employees, so I could verify who could purchase on their account. They replied with their personnel files. Luckily it didn’t have social security numbers, but it had a LOT of personal information. Medical records, drug test results, stuff like that.
The whole workplace drug testing thing is so wild to me. An employer can actually lay claim to your bodily fluids? Absolutely mental.
In the Netherlands, it’s very simple:
- if there are performance problems, then you address your employee’s performance problems.
- if there are no performance problems, then there is no problem and what your employee does in their free time is none of your business.
Jason spilled a barrel a barrel of ink and fell in it. 🤣
stressed out researcher tried to get a temp to ship out biological specimens by fedex.
Like standard mail fedex? No special packaging or anything?
yup on standard fedex. I mean packaged up well on our end but still something that is a crime.
That’s complicated to answer in my case, as nobody gets along (I’m one of the few people with a relatively stable work relation), so there’s an incident everyday, though there are also occasional ones that stand out a lot. I for some reason have a lot of bad rep without any actual cause for it and remember people storming into our operations more than once and demanding I be exiled from the place. There are two types of people in this situation whenever it has happened: those who are almost about to oblige and fulfill their wish, and me who calls authorities and ends up dealing with the situation before they can do so before everyone just forgets all that happened.
I bet you have done good stories about that
It depends on what you mean by good, as they aren’t things I like to think happen to me often, though one consistent theme reveals itself out of it, even when merely talking about it.
My company called all lab staff “pandemic heroes” for coming in every day during the pandemic and taking on extra work to compensate for management and office staff who stayed home for years.
Then shortly after return to office, they closed the lab and laid off all lab staff.
Sounds like your company took the Veterans Affairs approach to “hero response”.
Worst part is that they did it mostly to boost the IPI right before we went public by driving down operating costs.
We weren’t even able to buy in u til 6 months after going public and the price leveled off at 6 months
Depends. Had a client pull a knife on me once, and another dragged me around the facility for an hour while he tried to break down a door to “kill” another client because he had stolen the change from a $5 Taco Bell gift card.
The other incident being was a coworker harboring one of the fugitive kids at her house with her like…6 children while her husband was away in Nebraska for work. Randomly saw her in family court a year later while I was working another job, hopefully while her husband fights her for custody of the kids…
Guy found a gun in the customer’s stuff
Guy starting waving it around and playing with it, pulled the fuckin trigger, almost shot one of his coworkers
Cops came, guy said he was moving a cabinet and it went off which obviously no one believed, somehow he wasn’t arrested, idk
Guy was fired over the phone before he left the customer’s house
Was this one on the news? This is very very familiar
Another:
Big awful dude starts working, among other issues he was SUPER upset that the girls at the gym are allowed to have their own separate area to work out where he can’t ogle them, he felt this was grossly unfair and was angry about it
So anyway my boss goes back to the truck to get something, at like 9 in the morning on the job site, opens up the back, the ENTIRE truck is filled with weed smoke which billows out because big awful dude is in there getting high. Boss is upset, obviously, but big awful dude is just laughing
I think they had to finish out the day with him but the boss was definitely irritated about it
Oh shit! I forgot one from another job.
One of the busboys walked into the office, found no people and a satchel with about $30,000 in cash, picked it up and walked out, clocked out like normal, went home.
Guy SHOWED UP TO WORK THE NEXT DAY. Just assuming I guess, they won’t have cameras or anything, if I just don’t say anything there’s no way they can know who it was and they’ll probably just move on if I play it cool.
I guess the management was pretty aware of his level of planning skills because they had cops waiting at the restaurant at the time of his scheduled starting time and he was taken away in cuffs, presumably not to return for quite a long time.
I guess in his defense, he knew damn well if he stopped coming to work the day after $30k went missing, they’d know it was him.
I mean obviously the smart thing to do is not to fucking touch the money, but I’ll give the guy showing up to work the next day. It’s not like $30k is flee-to-Argentina-and-start-a-new-life money.
No, the smart thing to do is to not leave 30k unattended around people who aren’t paid well.
