• Makhno@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    Not my job to know what someone wants to be called…? The childish entitlement sheesh

    • voidsignal@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      Yeah. I don’t mind calling you whatever you like if you tell me. Otherwise I just don’t give a shit and I’ll call you whatever I feel like.

    • riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      3 days ago

      heyy, it’s ok if you do not know someones gender. it’s really not that important. just treat it as the unknown that it is, and either refer to the person gender neutrally, or ask if you need to know. just please do not guess, because that just leads to you accidentally hurting people :)

      • pmk@piefed.ca
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        3 days ago

        Unfortunately, asking can also lead to accidentally hurting people.

    • atopi@piefed.blahaj.zone
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      2 days ago

      the childish entitlement is probably because this is a joke, posted on a community where people post jokes

    • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
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      3 days ago

      call me whatever you want I genuinely don’t care. you can call me he she they or it I genuinely don’t care. the funniest thing a patient called me is a reference to one of my many obvious physical deformities. if you care what I’m called that’s very genuinely a you problem. and honestly the more it bothers people to not know what to call me the funnier it gets.

      • trashcroissant@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        3 days ago

        the more it bothers people to not know what to call me the funnier it gets.

        This is how imma describe my gender next time my therapist checks in on it

      • teslekova@sh.itjust.works
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        3 days ago

        I love it when kids call me fat or shout “Why is that fat man so hairy?” and their parents look mortified and tell them not to be rude while I laugh and agree with the kid, or answer them. For example, that last kid I told I was actually way less hairy than when I was a kid: back then I looked just like a little ball of fur and all you could see was my feet!

      • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        I feel the same way about my pronouns. It truly doesn’t matter to me. I’m glad people who feel strongly about it have the opportunity to make that choice, I just can’t relate to giving a damn about it. I had to call some customer service line a few times over the course of several days about a year ago, and every time I did, the agent asked the pronoun question. After like the fourth call I was getting annoyed. You’d think they’d add it to your profile after the first time, but no, even though they clearly had all my other information on a screen in front of them, they still had to ask. I don’t get that.

        • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
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          2 days ago

          I must also confess to a slight paranoia about such things. I feel like my gender is information neither the government nor the company I buy pants from actually need. Why do they want to know? How is it going to change what they do for me?

    • Zoop@beehaw.org
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      2 days ago

      Haha I was thinking the same thing about me! I never know how to answer when someone (who I trust, can be honest with, don’t have to pretend to be cis around for safety etc) asks what my gender is.

      I’m like a gif of a confused little girl
      “I have no idea. Let me know if you figure it out!”

  • riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    3 days ago

    that’s what i though about my gender and then i always got mad at people guessing without asking me and guessing wrong and it got awkward and honestly i should have just told them cause honestly if the ignorant mountain doesn’t come to you, you gotta be the bigger bitch and come to the mounten or something i don’t fucking know

    fuck this society and it’s normativities but unfortunately it won’t change on it’s own :<

    • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
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      3 days ago

      The secret is to just not care what people call you when you’re not there. Even when I’m in the room and people are talking about me it’s mostly just funny to listen to whatever they come up with.

      • riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        3 days ago

        i’m personally not there yet. it still hurts when people (mis)gender me. i hope to get to that point where i don’t care anymore tho :3

  • python@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    Stupid question, but is coming out a thing you have to do every time you meet a new person? I kinda thought it was just the name for when you tell people you’re queer for like the first time, but I guess there isn’t really a word for already being publicly out but mentioning it to someone who hasn’t heard?

    • alternategait@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      I think that it covers also the thing that happens whenever you specifically reveal your queer state to someone who doesn’t know about it. I personally don’t come out generally, I just happen to mention my wife every five minutes (because she’s super great and I love her lots and lots).

    • gerryflap@feddit.nl
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      2 days ago

      Yeah that’s coming out too afaik. The emphasis is just on the initial one because it tends to be the scariest and the most consequential. When I came out as aro/ace I was most nervous about the initial ones, close friends and family. Not that I necessarily expected trouble, but it would have the most impact on my life. Now my go-to strategy is to be very casual about it and act surprised that people didn’t already know whenever I have to tell someone new. Pretending to be confident actually tends to work.

      It’s still coming out though, and with how the world works it always keeps being a bit scary

  • morto@piefed.social
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    3 days ago

    The solution to that is just using random pronouns. If they make an angry look, you used the wrong one

    • applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      3 days ago

      the oblivion persuasion wheel of pronoun selection. just be sure not to pick the wrong one too many times or their opinion of you will be unrecoverable.

  • Mulligrubs@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    It’s not a me problem either, it has absolutely nothing to do with me. Don’t come out, come out, whatever.

      • porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml
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        2 days ago

        Seems pretty unobjectionable to me. I certainly won’t actually implement all of the changes suggested here, but there’s none where I can’t see the logic. What things about it bother you specifically?

        • NOT_RICK@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          Some of them are understandable and offer solid suggestions, others are vague in their suggestions or offer up alternatives that would just be confusing to a reader.

    • j4yc33@piefed.social
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      3 days ago

      It is double plus un clever of the individual who was unaware of the gender of 100akerwoods

      • alapakala@quokk.au
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        3 days ago

        Thank goodness silly old me is not an individual! It would distraught me to offend The Wood’s gender!